Friday, July 21, 2017

PSA

It’s been a while since I’ve blogged about beer, but I feel obliged to get the word out about Sierra Nevada’s new Otra Vez ale.



Think of the grossest thing you could put in your mouth. Okay, back off a little, not that dirty. What I’m trying to say is that this stuff is vile. Imagine throwing up and asking for water and instead being handed back your own puke in the form of a cold carbonated beverage. That’s what this tastes like. Sierra Nevada has an incredible track record for putting out new beers, but this one is so off the mark it boggles the mind.

So don’t let the cool cactus label fool you! You’d be better off trying to drink water straight from a cactus than paying to drink this junk.

Tuesday, July 04, 2017

4th of July in song titles

Firework
by Katy Perry

Sitting, Waiting, Wishing
by Jack Johnson

Bottle Up and Explode!
by Elliott Smith

Flashing Lights
by Kanye West

Great Balls of Fire
by Jerry Lee Lewis

Hot Hot Hot!!!
by The Cure

Oops!...I Did It Again
by Britney Spears

Help!
by The Beatles

It’s a Fire
by Portishead

Cop Car
by Keith Urban

Run Run Run
by The Velvet Underground

Caught Up
by Usher

We Didn’t Start the Fire
by Billy Joel

Trouble
by Coldplay

Rules Broken
by All-Time Quarterback

Freeway Time in LA County Jail
by Sublime

Monday, July 03, 2017

I've achieved the impossible!

I found a comic strip joke in the newspaper that's actually kind of funny!

Saturday, June 17, 2017

Top 5 types of dessert

1. Ice Cream
2. Cookies
3. Pie
4. Brownies
5. Cake

Worst: Flan

Disagree? Submit your own list as a comment!

Sunday, June 11, 2017

Just the essentials

This photo is on the box of an inflatable camping mattress.



Based on the image, when this woman goes camping, her packing list includes the following:

[√] Backpack

[√] Ceramic Coffee Cup
[√] Down Comforter
[√] Dream Catcher
[√] Banjo

Friday, May 19, 2017

Stummy beige

A research scientist just trained a computer to generate new paint colors and give them each a name. The names the computer came up with sound like the worst Pok√©mon characters ever.



And I thought the names I created for Fallout Shelter were ridiculous.

Wednesday, May 17, 2017

More like ZENdge

While looking for a wallpaper for my new iPad, I came across Zedge.net. The site boasts over 246 million app downloads and it's easy to see why. Who wouldn't want to stare at these nuggets of inspiration multiple times per day?




"My secret rage is proof that I 'love' you."





This one's literally and metaphorically deep.





"...step over the faux balcony and fall to your destiny."

Wednesday, May 10, 2017

Literate yourself!

My birthday is in a couple of weeks and in the spirit of giving, I've decided to release the FULL TEXT of my book I Am Now a Published Author, on this blog for the bargain price of $0.00. That's $2.99 off the regular price, and about a billion dollars less than it's worth. My lawyer would kill me, if I had a lawyer (which I don't, as evidenced by my copyright page).

Click the cover page below and enjoy!