Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Four Loco Watermelon


As a general rule, I try to avoid drinking anything with the word "crazy" printed on the label (no matter what language it's written in). As I’m typing this though, I realize that’s not actually true. If you saw me at a party in high school, I was almost definitely holding a 40oz of Crazy Horse Malt Liquor. But I digress.

Four Loco is a different animal entirely. At 12% ABV, each tallboy contains 4.6 standard drinks. They should call this stuff "Instadrunk." It smells like watermelon Jolly Ranchers, but unfortunately in this case, smells are deceiving. Holy shit this stuff is bad. It tastes like chemicals and stale cough syrup. I'm pretty sure you could use it to kill cockroaches. A hard 1/5.

Monday, December 17, 2018


RATING: 3.5/5

Imperial is a Costa Rican favorite. Many people don't know this, but the name actually translates to "easy drinkin’ beer." Imperial reminds me a bit of Red Stripe, but it maintains a slight edge in flavor because it's not as sweet. Imperial also has a sick-ass eagle thing on the label, which is pretty cool.

Sunday, December 16, 2018

Henry’s Hard Soda Grape


Tastes like grape soda. The flavor was not at as bad as I thought it would be (usually with these freak shows I end up fighting to take the last swallow). The problem is that each bottle contains 222 calories. If you're just trying to get a buzz, it'd probably be healthier to just huff paint.

Saturday, December 15, 2018

Crooked Lane Brewing Company SR-16 Double IPA


I reviewed this beer using voice dictation while drinking at NorCal brewery. Enjoy.

"Smoothligh grassy perfect ipa bitter aftertaste without overpowering the pallet. 5/5 Got it close to brewery in Grass Valley Floral and satisfying. Would pair great with any meal. I’m sold!"

Friday, December 14, 2018

Modelo Especial

RATING: 3.5/5

Modelo Extra has long been one of my go-to Mexican beers. Smooth, easy drinking with a sweet finish. Ideal for beachside sippin'.

Thursday, December 13, 2018

Saint Archer IPA

RATING: 4.5/5

I don't know how this Archer guy was able to find time to create this fantastic beer while also doing whatever he had to do to become a saint. This IPA has a hints of chocolate up front and finishes with a crisp hint of fresh cut grass. Not overly bitter. A pleasant beer for any occasion.

Wednesday, December 12, 2018

Anchor Steam


Anchor Steam dons what may be my favorite beer label of all time. I haven't had one of these brews in a while and it proved to be a lot lighter than I remember. A mild malt flavor gives way to a clean bitter finish which refreshes the palate.

Tuesday, December 11, 2018

Mother Earth Brew Co. Cali Creamin' Vanilla Cream Ale


The unfortunately named "Cali Creamin'" ale is an interesting effort. The beer starts off with a typical light beer flavor and finishes with what can only be described as a musty, stale, Fruity Pebbles-like aftertaste. It wasn't completely undrinkable, but I definitely won't be coming back for more.

Monday, December 10, 2018

Corona Familiar

RATING: 3.5/5

I’m not sure what to make of this beer. Corona Familiar is more expensive than Corona Extra. Why am I paying more for something that isn’t extra? To make a garbled comparison to another Mexican adult beverage, I was hoping to have a similar quality jump from Corona Extra to Corona Famimliar, as there is from Cuervo to Cuervo 1800. But alas this is not the case. Corona isn’t that complex to begin with, and this just seems like a slight variation on the formula. Corona Familiar may be a little smoother than Corona Extra, but the small quality jump isn't worth the money.

Sunday, December 09, 2018

Guinness Irish Wheat


It was fine. I didn’t pick up on the "banana and clove" flavors but it did have a nice citrus lemon zest at the finish. This beer is the definition of "okay," as there was really nothing special to make it stand out. I don't feel that this brew is worth the Guinness label, or the high price tag.

Saturday, December 08, 2018

Modelo Especial Chelada


Not as bad as most tomato flavored beers, but that’s not saying much. Plus, at 3.5% ABV, you’d have to swallow a sickening amount to get a buzz. Might as well drink Bloody Marys and get your vitamins.

Friday, December 07, 2018

Hop Valley Brewing Company Alphadelic IPA

RATING: 4.5/5

Floral, very well balanced and smooth. I can see myself drinking this on the beach, at a BBQ, with a cheese platter, on a house, with a mouse.

Thursday, December 06, 2018

Twisted Tea


My first reaction was "this isn't super tasty, but it's okay for an alcoholic tea." I don’t really have a great frame of reference because I’ve only had one other alcoholic tea drink and it was very sweet and gross. Twisted Tea has a synthetic lemon aftertaste that reminds me of the giant cans of Arizona Iced Tea I used to drink back in the day. The first few sips were okay, but it definitely got harder on my stomach the more I drank. I almost couldn't finish the tall boy.

Wednesday, December 05, 2018

Guinness Blonde American Lager


I have to admit I was a bit nervous trying this, as my favorite brewer has failed me in the past. Turns out I had nothing to worry about. Guinness Blonde's initial sweetness is balanced nicely by a slight sour lemon finish. This combination leads to a very drinkable brew. I’m so glad Guinness didn’t mess this one up!

Tuesday, December 04, 2018

Leinenkugel’s Summer Shandy

RATING: 3.5/5

Even though it looks foreign and is hard to spell, Leinenkugel's Summer Shandy is from Wisconsin. Weird.

This stuff tastes like sparkling lemonade, which I used to love as a kid. It also reminds me of lemon popsicles. Although Leinenkugel’s smells like fresh squeezed lemon, it stays away from the dish soap flavor often associated with these types of brews. I wouldn't always pick it over a good beer, but it would make a nice change up on a summer afternoon.

Monday, December 03, 2018

Old Rasputin Russian Imperial Stout

RATING: 3.5/5

I had this beer a long time ago and hated it. I have to say that I’m a lot more impressed with it this time around. I think this may be due to the fact that there are so many high alcohol beers around now to compare it to. Back in the days of Coors Light and Red Dog, Old Rasputin was an assault on the palate.

Old Rasputin has a kind of coffee flavor and is a little sour on the finish. Okay but nothing to get excited about.

Sunday, December 02, 2018

Golden Road Brewing Company Palisades Pineapple

RATING: 1.5/5

First off, I want to let you know that I am mildly allergic to pineapple, so I'm basically risking my life to write this review. I don't like to throw around the word "hero," but in this case I think it applies.

This beer was a big disappointment. The label promises a beer infused with fruit flavor, but in actuality this stuff was a watery mess. Super light almost-guava flavor, combined with low carbonation. At least Zima was an original idea.

Saturday, December 01, 2018



Zima may smell like cheap white wine, but it tastes like carbonated cheap white wine. Zima gets major props for being the first of its kind. I remember back in high school sneaking one of these from my grandpa's fridge. It tasted so bad that even as a dumb teenager I knew to stay away from this stuff. I brilliantly replaced my sip with water and hammered the cap back on. Luckily my grandpa must have felt the same way about Zima, because after trying one (not the one I tampered with) he never opened another bottle from the six pack.