Wednesday, November 19, 2008

More riddles

1. Two fathers and two sons go fishing. Each of them catches one fish but they bring home only three fish. Why?

2. Everyone removes their hat for me. Who am I?

3. I am black when bought, red when used and gray when discarded. What am I?

4. I belong to you, but most often I am used by others. What am I?

The answers are posted as a comment.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Life immitates art

Okay people, we have a problem. Exactly one day after I posted the joke about the alligator in the bar, the following article came out in the news:

Man arrives at bar with pet alligator; Cops called
Associated Press (article excerpt) - November 13, 2008

HUNTINGTON BEACH, Calif. – Heard the one about the guy who walked into a bar with an alligator? At Johnny's Saloon in Orange County, it was more than a joke early Saturday when a man arrived with his 3-foot pet gator on a leash.

By the time police and animal control officers arrived at Johnny's, the gator was in the man's vehicle in the parking lot. Officers followed him home, where another alligator was found, animal control spokesman Ryan Drabek said.

Both alligators were impounded and were being held Wednesday pending an investigation by the Department of Fish and Game, Drabek said.

I don't know which of my readers was in Huntington Beach yesterday but I feel that I must express my concern. Please do not attempt to imitate anything posted on this blog. I do not want to be responsible for anyone's junk being bitten off by an alligator, or a squirrel for that matter (see post Would you rather . . .). I am starting to see a pretty disturbing theme developing within my blog.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Bar joke

A guy walks into a bar with his pet alligator, puts the gator up on the bar, and faces the patrons. "If I open this alligator's mouth and put my balls inside, leave 'em there for five minutes, then remove 'em unscathed, will each of you buy me a drink?" The crowd murmurs its approval, so he gets up on the bar, drops his pants, and puts his balls into the alligator's mouth. The gator then closes his mouth as the crowd gasps.

After five minutes, the man grabs a beer bottle and raps the alligator hard on the top of his head. The gator opens its mouth and the man removes his genitals - unscathed, as promised. The crowd cheers, and the first of his free drinks is delivered. "Anyone else have the guts to give it a try?" the man dares the crowd. After a few seconds, a guy in the bar speaks up. "I'll do it, but no hitting me on the head with the bottle."

Sunday, November 09, 2008

My gift to you

Looking for a gift that will knock the socks off of your loved ones this holiday season? I present to you the perfect present: a poster of everyone’s favorite cheeseburger-inhaling alcoholic, David Hasselhoff. He is selling posters of himself on his website and as you can see from this example, they are pretty dang sweet.

Click here to check out the whole assortment.

Wednesday, November 05, 2008

A great moment in history

November 4th, 2008 will undoubtedly go down in history as a day on which people put aside their petty differences and came together to focus on what is really important. It is a day that people will look back on with feelings of honor and pride. I am speaking of course about the fact that on November 4th, 2008 - I got to meet Joel McHale.

My wife Debbie and I went to see him perform his stand-up routine and it was fantastic. He talked for an hour and a half and I laughed so hard I cried a little.

After the show we got to meet him and I am happy to report that he is a really nice guy. We talked for a while and before we left he recorded the outgoing message on my cell phone's voice mail. Sweet!

Sunday, November 02, 2008

A true Lego maniac

Check out this photo from Jean-Charles de Castelbajac's latest "high fashion" clothing line. His Lego themed garments were shown at this year's Fashion Week in Paris.

Jean-Charles' line inspired me to create a high fashion concept of my own. I now present to you "He-Man couture."