Tuesday, November 29, 2016

A man and his fence

A few months ago a guy in my neighborhood decided he would protect his yard by installing a wrought iron fence. I passed his house several times during this construction project and witnessed him go through each phase of what I'd like to call "The Five Stages of Fence Installation."

Step 1: Denial
I have to assume he bought the fence after being assured by the salesperson that it was preassembled and would be "easy to install." Instead of giving up when he realized it wasn't going well, he went all in and stuck it out until the bitter end.

Step 2: Anger
I witnessed this man hammer his fence so furiously that for a second I thought he was fending off a Graboid rising from the ground like in the movie Tremors.

Step 3: Bargaining
When I passed by a third time, he was on one knee. Some might mistake this as an act of surveying the perimeter, but I knew from my previous observations that he was simply begging the fence for mercy.

Step 4: Depression
The last time I saw this man he was standing on the sidewalk staring slack-jawed at his yard, a mournful expression on his sweat-strewn face.

Step 5: Acceptance

I don't know if this fence is insanely hard to install or if the guy just lost his effing marbles, but the fence is still standing exactly as he left it, four months after his heroic attempt.

Monday, November 21, 2016

The definitive authority on cloud shapes

Have you ever glanced up at the clouds and thought you saw a familiar shape? Well I hate to break it to you, but whatever shape you thought you saw was probably wrong. Don't worry, the QuizUp trivia app is here to tell you what's what!

Saturday, November 05, 2016

Whoa, Dog. Whoa!