Thursday, August 30, 2018

My daughter's first screenplay!

My 4-year-old daughter dictated a screenplay to me this morning and I typed it out. The cutest part is that when we finished, she kept asking if we could "watch it on TV." Your move, Scorsese!

Click above to view the full screenplay, complete with storyboard art!

Monday, August 20, 2018

This fence may outlast us all

Update: The fence is still (kind of) standing.

Sunday, August 12, 2018

Bad news

Are you tired of reading news articles about how bad everything has gotten? Here's a terrible top 10 list instead, just to switch it up!

I recently discovered this "Worst Celebrities of All Time" list, created by popular vote on


Friday, August 10, 2018

A dog's age

Do you know the old adage that says "one human year is equal to seven dog years?" Well, apparently that's bull dogshit. Here's the real deal.

Monday, August 06, 2018

A rat in the bathroom!

What do you do when a rat runs in from outside and gets trapped in your bathroom? A lot of yelping and jumping around, apparently.

Friday, August 03, 2018

Sick burn

The theme of this year’s Burning Man is artificial intelligence. To celebrate, scientist Janelle Shane of conducted an experiment.

Janelle fed a list of over 1,500 past Burning Man camp names to a neural network (a kind of machine learning algorithm). She then asked the network to create new camp names based on the data set.

Here are my favorite camp names, ranked from 1 to 10.

10. Lump Make Toast
9. Boo Down Whiskers
8. Disco Letheratary It Bang Busterf*ck
7. Camp Secret Buff
6. Princess SpaghetFly
5. The Mad Wall F*ckers
4. Flasher in Fur
3. Cohnie Stacefur Ass Chaos
2. Ho Bobbis Wang Mojo
1. Dirty Chris

Wednesday, August 01, 2018

Like a Boss D.J.

I called in to The Woody Show on ALT 98.7 yesterday to talk about "first world problems."