Wednesday, March 29, 2017

Words with fetus

Words with Friends has determined that my appropriate opponent level is "unborn child."

Wednesday, March 15, 2017

Knock nock joke

"Knock knock."

"Whose there?"

"WHO'S there."

"I don't know, it's you're dumb joke."

"It's YOUR dumb joke."

"This is two much."

Monday, March 13, 2017

Charles E. Sims

If you've been following this blog for a while, you know that my grandpa was my hero and I miss him like crazy. I could write a whole blog on the cool things he did in his lifetime, but for now I'll just share one of my favorite stories.

My grandpa was a court reporter as a young man. One day he was messing around with his sheriff buddies and they let him "test" some pepper spray, which I believe involved him spraying Mace inside of the police station and accidentally getting some on himself. His friends then wrote up a fake warrant for his arrest, "booking him" for drunk driving on the wrong side of the road in excess of 90 miles per hour.

The best part, though, is this authentic 1950s mugshot they took of my grandpa. He looks pretty badass on the left, but he couldn't hold it together for the profile.

Saturday, March 11, 2017

Nothing to see here. . . .

I know everyone's probably seen this video, but I had to give it a permanent home on this blog. It's such a perfect example of what it's like to try and work from home when you have little kids.

Monday, March 06, 2017

I'm a wild lab rat

If you haven't checked out Lab in the Wild yet, you should. The site has a bunch of personality tests like those ridiculous ones on Facebook, but these tests are actually legit (created by professors from Harvard and the University of Washington).

Go see if you can beat my scores! (If you do beat me, don't tell me. Just let me have this, okay?)

My Results
(all first time)

How quickly do you learn?
MY RESULTS: 75% forecasting accuracy ("much higher than average").

What is your thinking style?
MY RESULTS: Similar to people in my country.

Are you more Eastern or Western?
MY RESULTS: Equally competent at perceiving foreground and background (highest possible accuracy on both tests).

How fast is your memory?
MY RESULTS: 99% accuracy with 590 millisecond response average (319 faster than world average of 909 millisecond response time).

Can we guess your age?
MY RESULTS: My "color age" is 14 years old (which is a good thing).

What is your color perception score?
MY RESULTS: 100% accuracy.

How good is your nutrition knowledge?
MY RESULTS: 71% correct.

Test your social intelligence!
MY RESULTS: 29 out of 36 (better than 74% of participants).

Multitasking test
MY RESULTS: I got zero mistakes. It took me 2.68 seconds to find and select each item, well below the 3.22 second average. When forced to remember more symbols at once, most people slow down by 0.21%. I got faster by 11.91%. Multitasking FTW!