You won the lottery!!!
Yes, you actually won the $656 million Mega Millions jackpot - the biggest lottery in history! Apparently there was a mistake and those people that supposedly won didn't really win after all. Congratulations! Now call your boss and tell him to "suck it," then go max out all your credit cards on rich people stuff like Kawasaki jet skis and Grey Poupon!
Here is a composite image of what you will look like once you claim your prize (please adjust for gender, age, and/or race).
*Ha, ha! Sorry to be the one to break it to you, but you didn't actually win the lottery. You just fell victim to one of my classic April Fools' jokes. Don't feel too bad, I'm a master of deception.