Tuesday, November 24, 2015

Turd is the word

Southern California campsites are EXPENSIVE. Can you believe they charge six bucks to take a dump?!

I went hiking on a camp trail last week and snapped a shitty (pun intended) photo of the campsite rules. I cannot believe they are charging by the bowel movement. How is this even regulated? Do you have to sign a log (pun intended) book in the outhouse?

In an effort to be helpful, I have come up with two suggestions that might reduce the strain (pun intended) on a camper's budget.

Tip #1 Night shitting. If you can manage to hold it through the day, you can sneak out at night and crap like a cat. In terms of location, you'll have the pick of the litter (pun intended) and can go (pun intended) wherever you please.

Tip #2 (Pun intended) If you can't hold it 'till nightfall, there is another option. I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure camp rangers are not allowed to enter your tent no matter how bad it smells.

If you use these simple tricks you'll save dozens of dollars. You might even save up enough to buy a new tent!

I know I've been blogging a lot about turds and farts lately, and I'm sorry. I've been changing a lot of diapers so maybe the whole "write what you know" thing is true. Either way, I promise this will be the last entry having to do with poo.

Sunday, November 15, 2015

The Last Man on Earth Drinking Game!

I created a Last Man on Earth drinking game! Click on the image below to print it out and play along.

Tip: Make sure to laminate the game sheet if you plan on playing from your margarita pool.

The game contains spoilers so make sure you're all caught up! Click here to watch the most recent episodes on FOX.com.

Sunday, November 08, 2015

The name’s Danger Sims. Ryan Danger Sims.

This morning my baby daughter pointed to this ad and said, "Dada!" (And no, she was not pointing to the guy in the back wearing the Cobra Kai skeleton costume.)

She gets MAJOR points for this one (especially considering what her big brother said a couple years ago).

I'll decide when he's had enough, man!

Thursday, November 05, 2015

Snow wars

Check out this scene from the cover of the Toys "R" Us holiday catalogue.

Why does Darth Vader have his lightsaber out during a snowball fight?! Please, everyone just LET HIM WIN!