I can't believe you actually typed "rat turds" into the search bar. That is just gross. Just what exactly did you expect to find? A picture of rat turds? A rat turd fan page?! Well sorry to disappoint you, sicko.
Note: If you stumbled upon this post in the More Rants than Raves archives, you are probably confused. Click here for clarification.
Saturday, July 05, 2008
All right, all right, all right
I heard a rumor that Matthew McConaughey's nephew is named after a brand of beer. I thought this was too good to be true but it turns out that it is indeed a fact. According to IMBD Matthew McConaughey's brother "Rooster" named his son "Miller Lyte McConaughey." The site also states that Matthew "doesn't wear deodorant or cologne" and is "afraid of revolving doors." You can't make this stuff up.
Rooster (left) and his famoso bro Mateo (right).
Rooster (left) and his famoso bro Mateo (right).
Saturday, June 21, 2008
There will be links
Ladies and gentlemen, if I say I'm a blog man you will agree. As a blog man, I hope that you'll forgive just good old fashioned plain-speaking. Over the course of my online career I have been fortunate enough to stumble upon a variety of websites that boggle the mind and stimulate the soul. It is my intention to post links to these sites for you fine people to peruse at your convenience. I will post this list of links on the upper left side of this blog and I will update them as I see fit. It is my hope that by viewing these sites you will find entertainment and enjoyment beyond compare. Happy hunting.
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
3 words: hi nik kin
My 30th birthday is this weekend and my better half is throwing me a party. Friends and family are coming over for video games, horseshoes, pool basketball, cake, and a Heineken keg. I can't wait. The last time I was drinking off a Heineken keg my brothers and I stayed up all night and ended up spraying down the neighborhood with a fire extinguisher.
Monday, May 19, 2008
The mark of the beast
I went to Baker's fast food today and my order came out to an even $6.66. I'm not really religious but I will say that there is something quite unsettling about getting handed a scrap of paper with Satan's signature on it while preparing to feast on the delicious flesh of a slaughtered calf.
Friday, May 16, 2008
My favorite performance artist
Tehching Hsieh is a New York City-based performance artist who has done some incredible projects. Here are some brief descriptions of my favorite performances.
1978-79 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 9/29/78 to 9/30/79 Hsieh remained in a cage without talking, reading, writing, listening to the radio or watching TV.
1980-1981 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 4/11/80 to 4/11/81 Hsieh punched a time clock every hour on the hour (day and night) in the same location. He took a picture of himself each time he punched the clock and put the images together to make a 6 minute movie. He shaved his head before he started the piece and you can watch his hair grow throughout the video.
1981-1982 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 9/26/81 to 9/26/82 Hsieh stayed outdoors without shelter, refusing to enter any building, subway, train, car, airplane, ship, cave, or tent.
1983-84 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 7/4/83 to 7/4/84 Hsieh and a woman named Linda Montano lived tied together at the waist by an 8 foot rope, being careful never to touch each other. The two did not know each other before the piece began.
1978-79 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 9/29/78 to 9/30/79 Hsieh remained in a cage without talking, reading, writing, listening to the radio or watching TV.
1980-1981 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 4/11/80 to 4/11/81 Hsieh punched a time clock every hour on the hour (day and night) in the same location. He took a picture of himself each time he punched the clock and put the images together to make a 6 minute movie. He shaved his head before he started the piece and you can watch his hair grow throughout the video.
1981-1982 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 9/26/81 to 9/26/82 Hsieh stayed outdoors without shelter, refusing to enter any building, subway, train, car, airplane, ship, cave, or tent.
1983-84 ONE YEAR PERFORMANCE
From 7/4/83 to 7/4/84 Hsieh and a woman named Linda Montano lived tied together at the waist by an 8 foot rope, being careful never to touch each other. The two did not know each other before the piece began.
Monday, May 12, 2008
Is that a synthesizer in your pocket?
I am really excited about the latest music video game coming to the Nintendo DS. According to IGN.com: "KORG is teaming with AQ Interactive to bring a true music creation tool to the DS with KORG DS-10, which is basically a synthesizer and mix tool that fits in your pocket. We were stunned the first time we heard the quality of audio that comes from this uniqe [sic] game, and while its extremely technical (it acts like a professional piece of software), it also looks extremely simple to get into and start creating with."
Now all I need is a saxophone game and I can make some kick-ass slow jams.
Now all I need is a saxophone game and I can make some kick-ass slow jams.
Thursday, May 08, 2008
I know what I want for my birthday
Safety in numbers for speeding drivers
Reuters (article excerpt) - May 7, 2008
Speeding drivers in south China are getting clear away thanks to machines which switch the numbers on their licence plates in seconds, state media said on Tuesday.
"More than 50 percent of cars caught on camera for speeding and other offences either cover up their plates or use a fake licence plate," a traffic policeman in the Guangdong city of Yangjiang was quoted by the Beijing Youth Daily as saying.
"Our chances of capturing them is next to nil."
The price of the remote-control device starts at around 800 yuan ($115), while a more advanced apparatus with the ability to flip over the numbers in less than three seconds costs more than double.
"The era of covering up the licence plate by hand has passed," a driver surnamed Zheng told the newspaper.
Reuters (article excerpt) - May 7, 2008
Speeding drivers in south China are getting clear away thanks to machines which switch the numbers on their licence plates in seconds, state media said on Tuesday.
"More than 50 percent of cars caught on camera for speeding and other offences either cover up their plates or use a fake licence plate," a traffic policeman in the Guangdong city of Yangjiang was quoted by the Beijing Youth Daily as saying.
"Our chances of capturing them is next to nil."
The price of the remote-control device starts at around 800 yuan ($115), while a more advanced apparatus with the ability to flip over the numbers in less than three seconds costs more than double.
"The era of covering up the licence plate by hand has passed," a driver surnamed Zheng told the newspaper.
Sunday, May 04, 2008
Caffeine amounts in popular drinks!!!!!!!
Starbucks Tall Coffee =========== 21.67 mg/oz
Starbucks Double Shot =========== 20.00 mg/oz
Coffee (Drip) =================== 18.13 mg/oz
Einstein Bros Coffee ============ 12.88 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Americano == 12.50 mg/oz
SoBe No Fear ==================== 10.88 mg/oz
Monster Energy Drink ============ 10.00 mg/oz
Rockstar ======================== 10.00 mg/oz
Red Bull ======================== 9.64 mg/oz
SoBe Adrenaline Rush ============ 9.52 mg/oz
Mad-Croc Energy Drink =========== 9.47 mg/oz
Starbucks Bottled Frappucino ==== 9.47 mg/oz
Jolt Cola ======================= 9.36 mg/oz
McDonald's Coffee =============== 9.08 mg/oz
TaB Energy ====================== 9.05 mg/oz
Full Throttle Energy Drink ====== 9.00 mg/oz
Dunkin' Donuts Coffee =========== 8.94 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Amp ================ 8.93 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Mocha ====== 7.92 mg/oz
Hansen's Energy ================= 6.87 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Latte ====== 6.25 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Cappuccino ======= 6.25 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Game Fuel ========== 6.00 mg/oz
SoBe Essential Energy =========== 6.00 mg/oz
Tazo Chai ======================= 5.88 mg/oz
Tea (Brewed or Iced) ============ 5.88 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Blak ================== 5.75 mg/oz
Diet Pepsi Max ================== 5.75 mg/oz
Mountain Dew (Reg. or Diet) ===== 4.58 mg/oz
Pepsi One ======================= 4.58 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Baja Blast ========= 4.50 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Code Red =========== 4.50 mg/oz
Diet RC Cola ==================== 3.94 mg/oz
TaB ============================= 3.88 mg/oz
RC Cola ========================= 3.77 mg/oz
Diet Coke ======================= 3.75 mg/oz
Diet Coke with Lime (or Lemon) == 3.75 mg/oz
Diet Vanilla Coke =============== 3.75 mg/oz
RC Cola, Cherry ================= 3.60 mg/oz
Shasta Cola ===================== 3.58 mg/oz
Diet Sunkist Orange Soda ======== 3.50 mg/oz
Dr Pepper (Reg. or Diet) ======== 3.42 mg/oz
Sunkist Orange Soda ============= 3.42 mg/oz
Pibb Xtra ======================= 3.38 mg/oz
Diet Mr. Pibb =================== 3.33 mg/oz
Pepsi-Cola ====================== 3.17 mg/oz
Wild Cherry Pepsi =============== 3.17 mg/oz
Tea (Green) ===================== 3.13 mg/oz
Diet Pepsi ====================== 3.00 mg/oz
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi ========== 3.00 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Classic =============== 2.88 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Zero ================== 2.88 mg/oz
Cherry Coke (Reg. or Diet) ====== 2.83 mg/oz
Diet Coke with Splenda ========== 2.83 mg/oz
Vanilla Coke ==================== 2.83 mg/oz
Snapple Teas ==================== 2.63 mg/oz
Propel Invigorating Water ======= 2.50 mg/oz
Lipton Iced Teas ================ 2.50 mg/oz
A&W Cream Soda ================== 2.42 mg/oz
Nestea Iced Tea ================= 2.13 mg/oz
Barq's Root Beer ================ 1.88 mg/oz
Diet A&W Cream Soda ============= 1.83 mg/oz
SoBe Green Tea ================== 1.75 mg/oz
Crystal Light Iced Tea ========== 1.41 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Decaf Coffee ===== 0.79 mg/oz
Lipton Brisk Teas =============== 0.75 mg/oz
Chocolate Milk ================== 0.63 mg/oz
Hot Cocoa ======================= 0.63 mg/oz
Sprite, 7-Up, A&W Root Beer, Mug Root Beer, Diet Barq's Root Beer, Sierra Mist, Minute Maid Orange, Slice, Squirt and Fresca all have no caffeine. Information in this post was found at energyfiend.com.
Starbucks Double Shot =========== 20.00 mg/oz
Coffee (Drip) =================== 18.13 mg/oz
Einstein Bros Coffee ============ 12.88 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Americano == 12.50 mg/oz
SoBe No Fear ==================== 10.88 mg/oz
Monster Energy Drink ============ 10.00 mg/oz
Rockstar ======================== 10.00 mg/oz
Red Bull ======================== 9.64 mg/oz
SoBe Adrenaline Rush ============ 9.52 mg/oz
Mad-Croc Energy Drink =========== 9.47 mg/oz
Starbucks Bottled Frappucino ==== 9.47 mg/oz
Jolt Cola ======================= 9.36 mg/oz
McDonald's Coffee =============== 9.08 mg/oz
TaB Energy ====================== 9.05 mg/oz
Full Throttle Energy Drink ====== 9.00 mg/oz
Dunkin' Donuts Coffee =========== 8.94 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Amp ================ 8.93 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Mocha ====== 7.92 mg/oz
Hansen's Energy ================= 6.87 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Caffe Latte ====== 6.25 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Cappuccino ======= 6.25 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Game Fuel ========== 6.00 mg/oz
SoBe Essential Energy =========== 6.00 mg/oz
Tazo Chai ======================= 5.88 mg/oz
Tea (Brewed or Iced) ============ 5.88 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Blak ================== 5.75 mg/oz
Diet Pepsi Max ================== 5.75 mg/oz
Mountain Dew (Reg. or Diet) ===== 4.58 mg/oz
Pepsi One ======================= 4.58 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Baja Blast ========= 4.50 mg/oz
Mountain Dew Code Red =========== 4.50 mg/oz
Diet RC Cola ==================== 3.94 mg/oz
TaB ============================= 3.88 mg/oz
RC Cola ========================= 3.77 mg/oz
Diet Coke ======================= 3.75 mg/oz
Diet Coke with Lime (or Lemon) == 3.75 mg/oz
Diet Vanilla Coke =============== 3.75 mg/oz
RC Cola, Cherry ================= 3.60 mg/oz
Shasta Cola ===================== 3.58 mg/oz
Diet Sunkist Orange Soda ======== 3.50 mg/oz
Dr Pepper (Reg. or Diet) ======== 3.42 mg/oz
Sunkist Orange Soda ============= 3.42 mg/oz
Pibb Xtra ======================= 3.38 mg/oz
Diet Mr. Pibb =================== 3.33 mg/oz
Pepsi-Cola ====================== 3.17 mg/oz
Wild Cherry Pepsi =============== 3.17 mg/oz
Tea (Green) ===================== 3.13 mg/oz
Diet Pepsi ====================== 3.00 mg/oz
Diet Wild Cherry Pepsi ========== 3.00 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Classic =============== 2.88 mg/oz
Coca-Cola Zero ================== 2.88 mg/oz
Cherry Coke (Reg. or Diet) ====== 2.83 mg/oz
Diet Coke with Splenda ========== 2.83 mg/oz
Vanilla Coke ==================== 2.83 mg/oz
Snapple Teas ==================== 2.63 mg/oz
Propel Invigorating Water ======= 2.50 mg/oz
Lipton Iced Teas ================ 2.50 mg/oz
A&W Cream Soda ================== 2.42 mg/oz
Nestea Iced Tea ================= 2.13 mg/oz
Barq's Root Beer ================ 1.88 mg/oz
Diet A&W Cream Soda ============= 1.83 mg/oz
SoBe Green Tea ================== 1.75 mg/oz
Crystal Light Iced Tea ========== 1.41 mg/oz
Starbucks Tall Decaf Coffee ===== 0.79 mg/oz
Lipton Brisk Teas =============== 0.75 mg/oz
Chocolate Milk ================== 0.63 mg/oz
Hot Cocoa ======================= 0.63 mg/oz
Sprite, 7-Up, A&W Root Beer, Mug Root Beer, Diet Barq's Root Beer, Sierra Mist, Minute Maid Orange, Slice, Squirt and Fresca all have no caffeine. Information in this post was found at energyfiend.com.
Friday, April 18, 2008
What doesn't happen when you're drunk?
Drunk Russian sleeps off knifing
BBC News - April 17, 2008
A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up.
Yuri Lyalin, 53, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept like a baby before his spouse noticed a handle sticking out of his back.
He was rushed to casualty but doctors found no vital organs damaged.
Mr Lyalin shrugged the episode off but the drinking partner who stabbed him faces trial, Russian media report.
"Unique and intriguing the case may be, but the accused faces a severe punishment," said Pavel Vorobyov, a deputy prosecutor in the northern city of Vologda.
'We were drinking'
Mr Lyalin, an electrician, had spent the evening drinking with a watchman at his workplace when they got into an argument, Interfax news agency reports.
The morning found him waking up in the watchman's office but instead of going back to work, he decided to take the bus home.
At home, Mr Lyalin had some sausage from the fridge and lay down to sleep, the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper says.
After a couple of hours, his wife noticed the handle sticking out of his back and called an ambulance.
Viktor Belov, a surgeon who treated him, found a kitchen knife in Mr Lyalin's back but "by good fortune, it had gone through soft tissue without touching vital organs".
His alleged attacker reported the crime to the police himself, Interfax adds. Mr Lyalin apparently feels fine and bears no ill-will.
"We were drinking and what doesn't happen when you're drunk?" he was quoted by Komsomolskaya Pravda as saying.
BBC News - April 17, 2008
A Russian man trying to sleep off a night of after-work drinking failed to notice a six-inch (15-cm) knife in his back - until his wife woke him up.
Yuri Lyalin, 53, took a bus home, ate breakfast and apparently slept like a baby before his spouse noticed a handle sticking out of his back.
He was rushed to casualty but doctors found no vital organs damaged.
Mr Lyalin shrugged the episode off but the drinking partner who stabbed him faces trial, Russian media report.
"Unique and intriguing the case may be, but the accused faces a severe punishment," said Pavel Vorobyov, a deputy prosecutor in the northern city of Vologda.
'We were drinking'
Mr Lyalin, an electrician, had spent the evening drinking with a watchman at his workplace when they got into an argument, Interfax news agency reports.
The morning found him waking up in the watchman's office but instead of going back to work, he decided to take the bus home.
At home, Mr Lyalin had some sausage from the fridge and lay down to sleep, the Komsomolskaya Pravda newspaper says.
After a couple of hours, his wife noticed the handle sticking out of his back and called an ambulance.
Viktor Belov, a surgeon who treated him, found a kitchen knife in Mr Lyalin's back but "by good fortune, it had gone through soft tissue without touching vital organs".
His alleged attacker reported the crime to the police himself, Interfax adds. Mr Lyalin apparently feels fine and bears no ill-will.
"We were drinking and what doesn't happen when you're drunk?" he was quoted by Komsomolskaya Pravda as saying.
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
Joke recommender
A professor at UC Berkley has designed a website that uses a computer algorithm to recommend jokes to people based on their ratings of previous jokes. Go to eigentaste.berkeley.edu to check it out. I know this is hard to read but I really wanted to post in yellow!
Sunday, March 16, 2008
My Xbox Live gamercard
I've been busy breaking in my new Xbox and I thought I would post my gamercard for all to see. This nifty little widget shows the games I'm currently playing, along with my gamer photo, my achievement points and my video game moniker: Pigbutt McGee. If you have a 360 make sure to add me as a friend so we can meet up online and shoot some punk teenagers!
Wednesday, February 27, 2008
Hobo chic
The new season of ANTM (America's Next Top Model) is off to a nice start. Tonight's episode featured a homeless photo shoot. Tyra had her model minions pose as derelicts while actual homeless people slouched in the background. The best part is that Tyra dressed up the homeless people in high fashion clothing for the shoot, giving them a small taste of the good life before kicking their collective asses (back) to the curb.
After the shoot she congratulated the models for raising social awareness about homelessness by posing for these pictures. I could almost see the shock and horror on people's faces all across America as they came to the realization that homeless people do in fact exist. Job well done Tyra. Job well done.
After the shoot she congratulated the models for raising social awareness about homelessness by posing for these pictures. I could almost see the shock and horror on people's faces all across America as they came to the realization that homeless people do in fact exist. Job well done Tyra. Job well done.
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Thursday, January 24, 2008
I'm sorry
To my devoted readers: I am so sorry I let you down. I know that you rely on this blog for distraction and procrastination and I have not updated it for over a month. You see, I got everything on my Christmas list and started a new job all within the same week. This killer combination of responsibility and video games left me with no time to update my sites.
After a while I started to get complaints (which was sort of nice since it means that people are actually reading this thing) and I realized the error of my ways. I promise to make time to update this blog, regardless of how many other responsibilities I undertake. After all, I need some distraction and procrastination too.
I searched the internet to find an appropriate card for the occasion. Thanks to dgreetings.com for articulating what I could not say.
After a while I started to get complaints (which was sort of nice since it means that people are actually reading this thing) and I realized the error of my ways. I promise to make time to update this blog, regardless of how many other responsibilities I undertake. After all, I need some distraction and procrastination too.
I searched the internet to find an appropriate card for the occasion. Thanks to dgreetings.com for articulating what I could not say.
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Saved by Saved by the Bell
I used to love to watch Saved by the Bell when I was younger. Now I realize that it is probably the most important television program in history. The lessons that I learned from this show are invaluable. The video excerpt below is just one little nugget extracted from the voluminous archives of this classic show. If I had never seen Jessie Spano's struggle with caffeine pills I would probably have ended up on a street corner somewhere turning tricks for Vivarin.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I got game(s)
I have been obsessed with video games for so long I almost forgot my roots! I've loved to play board games since I was little and have a amassed a pretty good collection over the years. I recently dusted them off and put them on display so that the next time we have company I can bust 'em out.
Tuesday, December 04, 2007
Hobosexual
The urban word of the day today is "hobosexual."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ho•bo•sex•u•al
n, adj the opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for
one's own appearance.
Examples: Michael Moore, Peter Jackson.
First documented hobosexual - John the Baptist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
While I am excited to see that the hobo is finding his place in pop culture, I have to disagree with this definition. I would argue that hobo fashion is on its way to making a comeback. Don't be surprised when in 2010 you see people sporting patchy coats, fat wrinkled ties and blown out top hats.
You may also want to consider some of the other definitions from the Urban Dictionary. My personal favorite is below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ho•bo•sex•u•al
n, adj to be sexually aroused by homeless people.
Example: "Heather you are a hobosexual because you have
sex with homeless people."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I fear that poor Heather is in need of some serious counseling.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ho•bo•sex•u•al
n, adj the opposite of metrosexual; one who cares little for
one's own appearance.
Examples: Michael Moore, Peter Jackson.
First documented hobosexual - John the Baptist.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
While I am excited to see that the hobo is finding his place in pop culture, I have to disagree with this definition. I would argue that hobo fashion is on its way to making a comeback. Don't be surprised when in 2010 you see people sporting patchy coats, fat wrinkled ties and blown out top hats.
You may also want to consider some of the other definitions from the Urban Dictionary. My personal favorite is below.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
ho•bo•sex•u•al
n, adj to be sexually aroused by homeless people.
Example: "Heather you are a hobosexual because you have
sex with homeless people."
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I fear that poor Heather is in need of some serious counseling.
Monday, December 03, 2007
Duty calls
So, it is time once again that I engage in the age old American tradition that our forefathers fought and died for. I am speaking of course of the tradition of avoiding jury duty. I have done this successfully in the past but it seems that this time the man has tracked me down. Since I do not have the $250-$1000 required to pay the fine, I fear that I must go.
I called the number on my (second) jury notice today and was confronted with one of those annoying robotic voice prompts that is supposed to respond to whatever you say into your phone receiver. Of course these things never work and I always end up verbally abusing the poor computer voice. This time, however, I was routed to a Spanish speaking robot. Words cannot convey the joy I felt at the realization that my Spanish speaking skills were still strong enough to give that robotic beyotch a piece of my mind.
I called the number on my (second) jury notice today and was confronted with one of those annoying robotic voice prompts that is supposed to respond to whatever you say into your phone receiver. Of course these things never work and I always end up verbally abusing the poor computer voice. This time, however, I was routed to a Spanish speaking robot. Words cannot convey the joy I felt at the realization that my Spanish speaking skills were still strong enough to give that robotic beyotch a piece of my mind.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)