It's pilot season and I set up a fancy website to promote my writing. The site is called My Pilot is Good You Should Read It, and you can check out using the link below.
MyPilotIsGoodYouShouldReadIt.com
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Sending it!
Last weekend my friend Shawn invited me to Mammoth Mountain to shred the gnar, and get absolutely no sleep.
That's me on the left, Shawn in the middle, and Jeremy on the right.
I got a great shot of Shawn while taking a beer break at the top of the mountain. Click on it to see it in its full glory.
Perhaps the most exciting thing on the trip was when we got to take on an actual Super-G course. I usually board freestyle, but I have to admit it was a lot of fun hauling ass down the mountain. Check out my top speed!
That's me on the left, Shawn in the middle, and Jeremy on the right.
I got a great shot of Shawn while taking a beer break at the top of the mountain. Click on it to see it in its full glory.
Perhaps the most exciting thing on the trip was when we got to take on an actual Super-G course. I usually board freestyle, but I have to admit it was a lot of fun hauling ass down the mountain. Check out my top speed!
Thursday, March 08, 2018
Have you seen this blog?!
Check out this retro-style graphic I made to advertise for my blog. I guess if you're reading this, you don't need to see the ad because you're already here. Oh well, too late now!
Monday, March 05, 2018
Cereal offenders
Apparently the bar has been set so low by modern breakfast cereal companies that the trend is to advertise what their products do not contain.
I made a few ad graphics that apply to almost every cereal in the US. Advertisers reading this may use these free of charge.
I made a few ad graphics that apply to almost every cereal in the US. Advertisers reading this may use these free of charge.
Sunday, February 11, 2018
I told you so, Diana!
I’ve been proselytizing the gospel of Guinness for as long as I can remember, but people still don’t believe the message. Check out this menu from Claim Jumper’s that shows the calories of the beers on tap. Guinness is a light beer, people!
Tuesday, February 06, 2018
Sunday, February 04, 2018
Super Bowl LII prop bets!
(Green bets favored to win.)
Will Pink wear a Philadelphia Eagles shirt or hat while singing the National Anthem?
Yes +170
No -250
Will Pink be airborne?
(Must be airborne from first note sang until she finishes saying "brave" for the first time.)
Yes +250
No -400
What color will Pink's hair be?
(Predominant color.)
White/Blonde -300
Pink/Red +500
Green +200
Blue/Purple +900
Brown/Black +900
Who will be shown first on TV during the singing of the National Anthem?
(From Pink singing first note until she finishes saying "brave" for the first time.)
Tom Brady -200
Nick Foles +150
Color of Bill Belichick's shirt at kickoff?
(Predominant color.)
Blue -150
Grey +140
Red + 900
White +900
How many times will the temperature outside the stadium be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say what the temperature is.)
Over 1 -350
Under 1 +225
How many times will the Rocky statue in Philadelphia be shown during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager.)
Over 1 +110
Under 1 -150
Will Donald Trump be mentioned during broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say "Trump.")
Yes EVEN
No -140
Donald Trump Tweets
Over 5 -120
Under 5 -120
Will Donovan McNabb's vomiting incident from Super Bowl 39 be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must refer to vomiting or a similar word and say "McNabb.")
Yes +170
No -250
Will Justin Timberlake be wearing a hat when he begins his Halftime show performance?
Yes -130
No -110
What color will Justin Timberlake's shoes be when he begins his Halftime show performance?
(Predominant color.)
White -120
Black +225
Brown/Beige +700
Red + 1000
Blue +1000
Green +1000
Yellow +2000
How many times will "wardrobe malfunction" be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say "wardrobe malfunction.")
Over 1.5 +300
Under 3.5 -500
Will "Nipplegate" be said during broadcast?
(Halftime DOES count towards wager.)
Yes +500
No -900
How many times will Tom Brady's age be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say his age 40.)
Over 1.5 = -350
Under 1.5 = +225
What color will the liquid be that is poured on the game winning coach?
Lime/Green/Yellow +225
Orange +300
Red +400
Clear/Water +400
Blue +400
Purple +1000
Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech?
Teammates +175
God +300
City +800
Coach +800
Owner +1600
Family +500
Does not mention any of the above +300
All bets are actual wagers offered through bovada.lv.
Will Pink wear a Philadelphia Eagles shirt or hat while singing the National Anthem?
Yes +170
No -250
Will Pink be airborne?
(Must be airborne from first note sang until she finishes saying "brave" for the first time.)
Yes +250
No -400
What color will Pink's hair be?
(Predominant color.)
White/Blonde -300
Pink/Red +500
Green +200
Blue/Purple +900
Brown/Black +900
Who will be shown first on TV during the singing of the National Anthem?
(From Pink singing first note until she finishes saying "brave" for the first time.)
Tom Brady -200
Nick Foles +150
Color of Bill Belichick's shirt at kickoff?
(Predominant color.)
Blue -150
Grey +140
Red + 900
White +900
How many times will the temperature outside the stadium be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say what the temperature is.)
Over 1 -350
Under 1 +225
How many times will the Rocky statue in Philadelphia be shown during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager.)
Over 1 +110
Under 1 -150
Will Donald Trump be mentioned during broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say "Trump.")
Yes EVEN
No -140
Donald Trump Tweets
Over 5 -120
Under 5 -120
Will Donovan McNabb's vomiting incident from Super Bowl 39 be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must refer to vomiting or a similar word and say "McNabb.")
Yes +170
No -250
Will Justin Timberlake be wearing a hat when he begins his Halftime show performance?
Yes -130
No -110
What color will Justin Timberlake's shoes be when he begins his Halftime show performance?
(Predominant color.)
White -120
Black +225
Brown/Beige +700
Red + 1000
Blue +1000
Green +1000
Yellow +2000
How many times will "wardrobe malfunction" be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say "wardrobe malfunction.")
Over 1.5 +300
Under 3.5 -500
Will "Nipplegate" be said during broadcast?
(Halftime DOES count towards wager.)
Yes +500
No -900
How many times will Tom Brady's age be mentioned during the broadcast?
(Halftime does not count towards wager. Must say his age 40.)
Over 1.5 = -350
Under 1.5 = +225
What color will the liquid be that is poured on the game winning coach?
Lime/Green/Yellow +225
Orange +300
Red +400
Clear/Water +400
Blue +400
Purple +1000
Who will the Super Bowl MVP mention first in his speech?
Teammates +175
God +300
City +800
Coach +800
Owner +1600
Family +500
Does not mention any of the above +300
All bets are actual wagers offered through bovada.lv.
Monday, January 29, 2018
The happiest dad on earth
If you ever get the chance to visit Disneyland on a Thursday in January, DO IT!
Monday, January 22, 2018
Got one of those customizable message boards
Sage words from old Fergalicious.
There has got to be a better way to express your gratitude.
How is Hostess not using this in their ads?
This one's a real conversation starter!
Wednesday, January 17, 2018
Zack Morris is Trash
I try not to post too many videos in a row, but this one's just too damn funny not to share.
Apparently there is a whole series of these on Amazon Prime Video, all of which I will be watching immediately after putting my kids to bed tonight. You can also check out the YouTube channel here.
Tuesday, January 16, 2018
Friday, January 12, 2018
Star Wars + Math = Awesome Video
It started with x+4... and I couldn’t unhear it.
— dani (@d4niphantom) January 11, 2018
I was supposed to do my math homework but instead I figured out what the Cantina Theme would sound like if your instrument was a pencil. (Volume all the way up) pic.twitter.com/c86RhZiDHP
Thursday, January 04, 2018
Friday, December 29, 2017
50 shades of chum
I've been listening to a lot of audiobooks lately, and I'm really enjoying the format. Please let me know if you have any recommendations!
I came across this one last night and was wondering if anyone is familiar. Has anyone listened to The Shark Anal yet? If so, is it like a tale of forbidden love, or more of a "nature sounds" type track?
I came across this one last night and was wondering if anyone is familiar. Has anyone listened to The Shark Anal yet? If so, is it like a tale of forbidden love, or more of a "nature sounds" type track?
Tuesday, December 26, 2017
Look no further
Looking for last minute gift ideas? I hope not because Christmas is over. If you are still looking for a gift however, I recommend a personal safety alarm. These FansArriche brand ones are great for students, the elderly and potential murder!
Friday, December 08, 2017
You gotta fight, for your right, to parrrtay!
Pretty sure this is what old Jimbo Maddison was envisioning when he authored the First Amendment.
Video of the year by far! Omg pic.twitter.com/B4Cjds8mOc
— Bob Menery (@BobMenery) December 7, 2017
There's a SECOND bro I'm crying 😂 pic.twitter.com/ZTNPt7iSaO
— Monica Chon (@MonicaChon) December 7, 2017
Sunday, December 03, 2017
OCD #1
Here's a peek into my OCD brain:
"This is a nice party. I love catered food! I'm going to get some chips and salsa. I love chips and salsa.
Huh. Okay so instead of picking up chips with our hands, we are using tongs. Except that when people are done with the tongs, the tongs go back into the chip container. Now the chip tongs, which contain the collective germs of every person who has served themselves chips, are sitting in the chips.
Also, after serving myself chips with the tongs, I will have transferred the germs of everyone at this event onto my hands, which I will then use to eat the chips.
HOW IS THIS AN EFFECTIVE SYSTEM? We’d be better off just scooping the chips up with our hands!"
Living in my head is kind of exhausting.
"This is a nice party. I love catered food! I'm going to get some chips and salsa. I love chips and salsa.
Huh. Okay so instead of picking up chips with our hands, we are using tongs. Except that when people are done with the tongs, the tongs go back into the chip container. Now the chip tongs, which contain the collective germs of every person who has served themselves chips, are sitting in the chips.
Also, after serving myself chips with the tongs, I will have transferred the germs of everyone at this event onto my hands, which I will then use to eat the chips.
HOW IS THIS AN EFFECTIVE SYSTEM? We’d be better off just scooping the chips up with our hands!"
Living in my head is kind of exhausting.
Monday, November 20, 2017
I cracked the code
I figured out a way to bring alcohol on an airplane that is legal and condoned by the TSA! According to TSA regulations, it is permissible for each traveler to bring one quart sized, clear plastic, zip-top bag full of mini liquor bottles in their carry-on luggage. By my calculations this means anywhere from 8 to 10 bottles per person, depending on what you're drinking.
I tried this myself recently and it worked like a charm. A cheap, drunken charm. I should note that it's technically illegal to drink the alcohol while on the plane, but if you want to drop a few rum shots into your free Coke, that's your business.
I tried this myself recently and it worked like a charm. A cheap, drunken charm. I should note that it's technically illegal to drink the alcohol while on the plane, but if you want to drop a few rum shots into your free Coke, that's your business.
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