Wednesday, November 05, 2014

Mo coupons mo problems

I have been playing the Monopoly game at McDonald’s lately (by “playing” I mean tearing paper off of food containers, and by “McDonald’s” I mean DON’T JUDGE ME). The other day I got two coupons for free food, but I was told I could only use "one coupon per person, per visit.”



I know I can use both coupons if there are two people in my car, but how does McDonald's know I’m not going to eat all the food myself? What if the only other person in my car is my baby? Does a baby count? They can’t eat solid food, but they are still human beings. Even McDonald’s has to admit that babies are human beings. Does the passenger in my car even have to be human? Do dogs count? People treat their dogs better than humans. What if I genuinely want to feed my dog a Big Mac?!*

*If you think I'm a monster for feeding my dog fast food, please consider that he is on his deathbed with hours to live and has always wanted a Bic Mac even though all I ever fed him was expensive vegan dog food and kale juice shakes. Now who’s the monster?

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