Tuesday, November 18, 2014

Potent quotables

Every month Reader’s Digest publishes a selection of “Quotable Quotes.” The list usually contains some quality quotations, mixed with other quotes whose “quotability” could be called into question. One example of a questionable quote is the following advice given by Amelia Earhart:

DECIDE WHETHER OR NOT THE GOAL IS WORTH THE RISKS INVOLVED. IF IT IS, STOP WORRYING.

Yeah, I’m going to take advice on risk assessment from a woman who disappeared off of the face of the earth while pursuing her goal.

The most ridiculous quote of the month is from an artist named Michele Oka Doner:

THE CLOSED FIST RECEIVES NOTHING.

It sounds like something Confucius would say after having one too many Zimas. I added a few alternative conclusions to the quote.

The closed fist receives nothing.
But it does pack a hellofa punch.

The closed fist receives nothing.
Unless you balance something carefully on top of it.

The closed fist receives nothing.
Also, there is no such thing as an “open fist.”

The closed fist receives nothing.
And even if it could receive something I still wouldn’t give you any money, you dirty hippy.

The closed fist receives nothing.
But the open hand can receive a truly rad high five.

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