Thursday, March 26, 2015

Status Update: Arrested

Suspect in Maine burglary posts that he's hiding in cabinet; police find him in same cabinet
Associated Press - March 24, 2015

A Maine man who'd been wanted by police for several weeks made a couple of critical mistakes that led to his capture - he sent out social media messages pinpointing his location.

The Somerset County Sheriff's Office had been looking for Christopher Wallace, of Fairfield, in connection with a burglary in January.

Police tell the Morning Sentinel that on Sunday night they received tips from people who said Wallace had posted on Snapchat that he had returned to his Fairfield home.

So, police went to the house.

While they were searching with permission of the resident, they were tipped off that Wallace had posted a new Snapchat message saying police were in the house looking for him and he was hiding in a cabinet. He was found in the cabinet.

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Oh snap, my dear Watson!

A few days ago Sherlock Holmes started following me on Twitter (I know, right?!). The account stays pretty close to character, with a few notable exceptions. See if you can spot the inaccuracies!

Monday, March 23, 2015

Starbucks fixed racism in one week!

Yesterday marked the end of the Starbucks "Race Together" campaign (in which customers were encouraged to talk to baristas about race). I have to say that I'm glad that it's over. The sign next to the register at my local Starbucks was making me really uncomfortable.

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Kitty History

Exactly like ours!

Sunday, March 15, 2015

The only thing missing is Steve Harvey

Go play Google Feud
It's a mashup of Family Feud and Google autocomplete. The answers are kind of a sad commentary on society, but in a hilarious and fun way!

Thursday, March 12, 2015

Taking the piss (and throwing it back)

Urinators in Germany warned: St. Pauli walls 'pee back'
United Press International (article excerpt) - March 6, 2015

Leaders in the "party district" of St. Pauli in Hamburg, Germany, are discouraging public urination by covering walls in paint that "pees back."

The St. Pauli Interest Community released a YouTube video explaining the most frequently-soiled walls in the district are being covered in a super-hydrophobic paint that causes sprayed liquid to bounce back in the opposite direction -- causing public urinators to make a mess of their own pants and shoes.

The walls treated with the paint are labeled with signs reading, "Don't pee here! We'll pee back!"

"I've seen in Facebook and the local newspapers that the reactions were very positive. People were just tired of the peeing on walls, home entrances and playgrounds," Christiansen said.

"Watch out! From now on, it's Peeback time," group member Julia Staron said in the video.

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Michael Bolton in Office Space

This is fantastic. I have to respect anyone who's called a "no-talent ass clown" in a movie and is still in on the joke.

A video posted by Funny Or Die (@funnyordie) on

Monday, March 09, 2015

Who let the dog out?!

Okay I don’t want to come off as a jerk, but I feel I have to say a few things about this sign.

1. It seems obvious that the dog ran away DIRECTLY after you adopted it (as it was still wearing the cone from the vet). Are you sure you're qualified to own this thing?

2. When you say, "VERY SKIDDISH," are you trying to say that he is prone to being run over by cars? Sorry, that was uncalled for.

I assume that you meant to write "skittish," and ignored the red dash underline thingie on your computer. Skittish seems like an apt description, but it's not much of an incentive for me to try to catch your dog. You might as well just say "CRAZED MONGREL ON THE LOOSE."

3. Who named him "Rexx?" If it was you, I wouldn't put much stock in him answering to the name you gave him 24 hours before he ran away. If it wasn't you, then congratulations on not naming your dog Rexx. Which brings me to my last point . . .

4. Is the extra "x" really necessary? Is this dog a hipster? Does it know if you are calling him "Rexx" as opposed to "Rex" or even "Rexxx?"

Well, now I feel like an asshole because I've made fun of someone who lost their dog. While the chances of this person reading this blog post are pretty slim, I still want to say that I'm sorry that Rexx is on the loose. Hopefully he finds his way back to you and you can relaxx.

Wednesday, March 04, 2015

I don't like to throw around the word "hero," but . . .

Long Island man busted for using wooden dummy in carpool lane
United Press International - March 2, 2015

A New York state police officer said he pulled a car over for speeding in a carpool lane and discovered the passenger was a wooden dummy in a hooded sweatshirt.

Suffolk County Highway Patrol Officer Jonathan Abrams said he spotted a car speeding in the high-occupancy vehicle lane on the Long Island Expressway in Dix Hill about 6:30 a.m. Friday.

Abrams pulled over James Campbell, 56, and quickly "realized that the front seat passenger wasn't human," the officer told WABC-TV.

"I was trying not to laugh at the guy because I thought it was quite silly," Abrams told WNBC-TV.

Abrams said Campbell told him he was using the dummy so he could take the HOV lane and be on time for his new job.

Campbell said he has been using the dummy to travel in HOV lanes "for months." He said being cited for speeding and an occupancy violation has not changed his habits -- Campbell said he used the dummy to drive in the HOV lane on his way home Friday.

Tuesday, March 03, 2015

The JLA Bathroom Experience

I found this sign posted in an employee restroom, and I want to go over my favorite parts (that sounds dirty).

“There should be no evidence that you were ever here.”
Treat the bathroom stall like a crime scene. If possible, perch on the toilet bowl like a ninja when doing your business.

“Hands should be washed immediately after you exit this stall.”
Don't even THINK about lingering around the sink area. You have approximately 10 seconds to start washing after you leave the stall, or you will be forcibly removed from the premises.

“The JLA Bathroom Experience."
The JLA Bathroom Experience sounds like an experimental rock band from the 70's, or some type of amusement park ride. Either way, they should sell t-shirts. I would totally buy an "I survived the JLA Bathroom Experience" t-shirt.

P.S. The photo above is tilted exactly 0.5 degrees in a counterclockwise direction. It drives me CRAZY, but I cannot change it without distorting the text. I just wanted everyone to know that I am aware of the problem, and I'm sorry. I am so sorry.

Sunday, March 01, 2015

Some blog posts just write themselves

I found these two bumper stickers displayed on THE SAME CAR.