Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Slightly offensive jokes

A husband and wife are watching a TV show about psychology that explains the phenomenon of "mixed emotions."

The husband turns to his wife and says, "Honey, that's a bunch of crap. I bet you can't tell me anything that will make me happy and sad at the same time."

She says, "Out of all your friends, you have the biggest dick."

Two old men were sitting on a front porch just watching life pass by. Suddenly, a Great Dane walks across their front lawn. The dog stops, lays down, and begins licking itself.

The first old man says, “Boy, I sure wish I could do that.”

The other old man says, “I don’t know. If I were you, I’d try petting him first.”

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