Mediocre!

I just got a digital subscription to OK! magazine. Never has a publication's title so accurately described its worth. Although I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I read the mag, I challenge anyone to find a description of John Mayer's misshapen penis in "respected" publications like the New York Times. Here's an example from last week's OK!:

Since they split in February, Katy Perry has been verbally cutting down her ex-lover John Mayer to friends. "She's letting rip on everything . . . even the size of his manhood. She says it's 'a funny shape' and like nothing she's ever seen before," spills an insider.



I have so many followup questions. What shape is John Mayer's penis? Zigzagged? Triangular? Also, just how many dongs has Katy Perry actually seen?

[same title as my post on April 8th]

Check out this ad I found in the back of my Popular Science magazine (I added the phallic red arrow). Isn't this treatment just trading one problem for another?

Landlords are out of control!

German landlord tries to collect rent with chainsaw
Reuters (article excerpt) - April 2, 2014

BERLIN - A landlord demanding rent threatened tenants and German police with a whirring chainsaw, a police spokesman said on Wednesday.

The frightened tenants called police to the scene, and the 45-year-old man eventually dropped the chainsaw when the officers showed their guns.

Harder than it looks

Artist Alasdair Thomson sculpted these dresses from solid masses of marble.

A duck friend would be great!

Hangin' out with my son, I've been watching this music video on the regular. It has a sweet hook and I completely agree with the message.

Over 12 billion served

April Fools!

Just in case you didn't figure it out, my last post was a joke. There is no way I am taking this blog down, especially after all the stunning endorsements I received (see the "comments" section of my last post).

I am not sure exactly how many people check this blog every day, but if I had to guess I would say that the number is approximately 12,334,843,229. That means that I fooled over TWELVE BILLION PEOPLE on April Fools Day this year! That has got to be some kind of record.

This is the end

Inspired by the creator of Flappy Bird, I have decided to permanently delete this blog from the internet. I can call More Rants than Raves is a success of mine. But it also ruins my simple life. So now I hate it. I am sorry More Rants than Raves users, 22 hours from now, I will take More Rants than Raves down. I cannot take this anymore.