Mediocre!

I just got a digital subscription to OK! magazine. Never has a publication's title so accurately described its worth. Although I am a bit embarrassed to admit that I read the mag, I challenge anyone to find a description of John Mayer's misshapen penis in "respected" publications like the New York Times. Here's an example from last week's OK!:

Since they split in February, Katy Perry has been verbally cutting down her ex-lover John Mayer to friends. "She's letting rip on everything . . . even the size of his manhood. She says it's 'a funny shape' and like nothing she's ever seen before," spills an insider.



I have so many followup questions. What shape is John Mayer's penis? Zigzagged? Triangular? Also, just how many dongs has Katy Perry actually seen?