Saturday, February 27, 2016
Thursday, February 25, 2016
Top 5 karaoke songs (+ worst ever)
1. "Brandy" by Looking Glass
2. "I Don't Mind" by Usher
3. "Blue Suede Shoes" by Elvis Presley
4. "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
5. "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Worst: There are no bad karaoke songs if they're performed right!
Disagree? Submit your own list as a comment!
2. "I Don't Mind" by Usher
3. "Blue Suede Shoes" by Elvis Presley
4. "Sweet Caroline" by Neil Diamond
5. "Wonderwall" by Oasis
Worst: There are no bad karaoke songs if they're performed right!
Disagree? Submit your own list as a comment!
Saturday, February 20, 2016
Thursday, February 18, 2016
Money well spent
Comedian Eugene Mirman got a ridiculous parking ticket. He retaliated by taking out a full-page ad in the city's paper. The part about General Stark is particularly enlightening. It really reinforces the fact that we need to place more value in education–I didn't learn any of the facts Eugene references in my history classes.
Click the image to zoom in.
Click the image to zoom in.
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
Big plans
You may have noticed that I haven't been posting as much as I usually do on this blog. The reason is that I'm working on a super-awesome comedy packet that will surely skyrocket me to my dream job of being a comedy writer.
In the meantime I'll continue to post web content that I enjoy and revisit my Instagrams from yestermonth. When I finish my packet I'll go back to creating original content for More Rants than Raves.
Wish me luck on my packet!*
*Not to my face, I don't need that kind of jinx.
In the meantime I'll continue to post web content that I enjoy and revisit my Instagrams from yestermonth. When I finish my packet I'll go back to creating original content for More Rants than Raves.
Wish me luck on my packet!*
*Not to my face, I don't need that kind of jinx.
Monday, February 15, 2016
Wednesday, February 10, 2016
Skateboard racks
Check out the shitty picture I took of this cool invention. I wish they had these when I was in school–I'd have like three more skateboards right now!
Tuesday, February 02, 2016
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
Tuesday, January 19, 2016
New for 2016!
Here are some exciting new changes coming to More Rants than Raves.
1. Larger images. From now on, when you click on an image it will link you to a larger version of that image. This should help when "zooming in" on photos with a cell phone.
2. Instagram jokes! I just hit 200 posts on Instagram and I've decided that from now on I'm going to post my favorite images from my IG account on this blog.
3. I will try not to use the n-word so much. I counted up all the times I've used the n-word so far and the total is zero, but that's still too much!
1. Larger images. From now on, when you click on an image it will link you to a larger version of that image. This should help when "zooming in" on photos with a cell phone.
2. Instagram jokes! I just hit 200 posts on Instagram and I've decided that from now on I'm going to post my favorite images from my IG account on this blog.
3. I will try not to use the n-word so much. I counted up all the times I've used the n-word so far and the total is zero, but that's still too much!
Wednesday, January 06, 2016
Professional dog driver
Saw this disclaimer at the bottom of a commercial. Where can I get one of these driving dogs?!
Friday, December 25, 2015
Merry Christmas!
Can you spot the addition my four-year-old made to this nativity scene?
Hint: He's a wise man bearing gold.
Hint: He's a wise man bearing gold.
Sunday, December 20, 2015
Only 4 shopping days 'till Christmas!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like a Tootin Santa Farting Santa Butt Holiday Ornament.
Sunday, December 13, 2015
Creative destruction
Some friends of ours recently gave our 1-year-old daughter a pack of really cool egg-shaped crayons. My daughter has been having a blast walking around our house drawing all over the walls. Last month she found an even more creative use for them: covering my insides with hot wax.
The other morning I noticed that my coffee tasted a little "off." After drinking half a cup I finally got the energy to get up and investigate the situation. What I discovered is that my daughter, in an effort to help out around the house, had washed her blue egg crayon in the dishwasher!
Every dish was covered in a thin film of wax that needed to be scoured off by hand. Between her and her brother, we're in for some serious trouble.
The other morning I noticed that my coffee tasted a little "off." After drinking half a cup I finally got the energy to get up and investigate the situation. What I discovered is that my daughter, in an effort to help out around the house, had washed her blue egg crayon in the dishwasher!
Every dish was covered in a thin film of wax that needed to be scoured off by hand. Between her and her brother, we're in for some serious trouble.
Wednesday, December 09, 2015
This post is brought to you by the letters O, C, and D
I found a cool tip chart in Real Simple magazine a few months ago. I scanned it and then spent an hour reformatting it so it would fit nicely on my blog.
Thursday, December 03, 2015
Internet ads are the worst!
Here are some ads I saw on Twitter, accompanied by some sassy comments from yours truly.
It's pretty tasteful that this article didn't include the sexiest dead female travelers.
Click the link to read more!
First off, this ad must have been sent to me by mistake, since I'm definitely a dude (I checked).
Secondly, what the hell is this?! "All the guys in your life are going to die off. GET READY TO PARTY!!!"
It's pretty tasteful that this article didn't include the sexiest dead female travelers.
Click the link to read more!
First off, this ad must have been sent to me by mistake, since I'm definitely a dude (I checked).
Secondly, what the hell is this?! "All the guys in your life are going to die off. GET READY TO PARTY!!!"
Tuesday, November 24, 2015
Turd is the word
Southern California campsites are EXPENSIVE. Can you believe they charge six bucks to take a dump?!
I went hiking on a camp trail last week and snapped a shitty (pun intended) photo of the campsite rules. I cannot believe they are charging by the bowel movement. How is this even regulated? Do you have to sign a log (pun intended) book in the outhouse?
In an effort to be helpful, I have come up with two suggestions that might reduce the strain (pun intended) on a camper's budget.
Tip #1 Night shitting. If you can manage to hold it through the day, you can sneak out at night and crap like a cat. In terms of location, you'll have the pick of the litter (pun intended) and can go (pun intended) wherever you please.
Tip #2 (Pun intended) If you can't hold it 'till nightfall, there is another option. I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure camp rangers are not allowed to enter your tent no matter how bad it smells.
If you use these simple tricks you'll save dozens of dollars. You might even save up enough to buy a new tent!
I know I've been blogging a lot about turds and farts lately, and I'm sorry. I've been changing a lot of diapers so maybe the whole "write what you know" thing is true. Either way, I promise this will be the last entry having to do with poo.
I went hiking on a camp trail last week and snapped a shitty (pun intended) photo of the campsite rules. I cannot believe they are charging by the bowel movement. How is this even regulated? Do you have to sign a log (pun intended) book in the outhouse?
In an effort to be helpful, I have come up with two suggestions that might reduce the strain (pun intended) on a camper's budget.
Tip #1 Night shitting. If you can manage to hold it through the day, you can sneak out at night and crap like a cat. In terms of location, you'll have the pick of the litter (pun intended) and can go (pun intended) wherever you please.
Tip #2 (Pun intended) If you can't hold it 'till nightfall, there is another option. I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure camp rangers are not allowed to enter your tent no matter how bad it smells.
If you use these simple tricks you'll save dozens of dollars. You might even save up enough to buy a new tent!
I know I've been blogging a lot about turds and farts lately, and I'm sorry. I've been changing a lot of diapers so maybe the whole "write what you know" thing is true. Either way, I promise this will be the last entry having to do with poo.
Sunday, November 15, 2015
The Last Man on Earth Drinking Game!
I created a Last Man on Earth drinking game! Click on the image below to print it out and play along.
Tip: Make sure to laminate the game sheet if you plan on playing from your margarita pool.
The game contains spoilers so make sure you're all caught up! Click here to watch the most recent episodes on FOX.com.
Tip: Make sure to laminate the game sheet if you plan on playing from your margarita pool.
The game contains spoilers so make sure you're all caught up! Click here to watch the most recent episodes on FOX.com.
Sunday, November 08, 2015
The name’s Danger Sims. Ryan Danger Sims.
This morning my baby daughter pointed to this ad and said, "Dada!" (And no, she was not pointing to the guy in the back wearing the Cobra Kai skeleton costume.)
She gets MAJOR points for this one (especially considering what her big brother said a couple years ago).
I'll decide when he's had enough, man!
She gets MAJOR points for this one (especially considering what her big brother said a couple years ago).
I'll decide when he's had enough, man!
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