Saturday, September 22, 2018
Thursday, August 30, 2018
My daughter's first screenplay!
My 4-year-old daughter dictated a screenplay to me this morning and I typed it out. The cutest part is that when we finished, she kept asking if we could "watch it on TV." Your move, Scorsese!
Click above to view the full screenplay, complete with storyboard art!
Click above to view the full screenplay, complete with storyboard art!
Monday, August 20, 2018
Sunday, August 12, 2018
Bad news
Are you tired of reading news articles about how bad everything has gotten? Here's a terrible top 10 list instead, just to switch it up!
I recently discovered this "Worst Celebrities of All Time" list, created by popular vote on TheTopTens.com.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
I recently discovered this "Worst Celebrities of All Time" list, created by popular vote on TheTopTens.com.
WHAT IS HAPPENING?!
Friday, August 10, 2018
A dog's age
Do you know the old adage that says "one human year is equal to seven dog years?" Well, apparently that's bull dogshit. Here's the real deal.
Monday, August 06, 2018
A rat in the bathroom!
What do you do when a rat runs in from outside and gets trapped in your bathroom? A lot of yelping and jumping around, apparently.
Friday, August 03, 2018
Sick burn
The theme of this year’s Burning Man is artificial intelligence. To celebrate, scientist Janelle Shane of aiweirdness.com conducted an experiment.
Janelle fed a list of over 1,500 past Burning Man camp names to a neural network (a kind of machine learning algorithm). She then asked the network to create new camp names based on the data set.
Here are my favorite camp names, ranked from 1 to 10.
10. Lump Make Toast
9. Boo Down Whiskers
8. Disco Letheratary It Bang Busterf*ck
7. Camp Secret Buff
6. Princess SpaghetFly
5. The Mad Wall F*ckers
4. Flasher in Fur
3. Cohnie Stacefur Ass Chaos
2. Ho Bobbis Wang Mojo
1. Dirty Chris
Janelle fed a list of over 1,500 past Burning Man camp names to a neural network (a kind of machine learning algorithm). She then asked the network to create new camp names based on the data set.
Here are my favorite camp names, ranked from 1 to 10.
10. Lump Make Toast
9. Boo Down Whiskers
8. Disco Letheratary It Bang Busterf*ck
7. Camp Secret Buff
6. Princess SpaghetFly
5. The Mad Wall F*ckers
4. Flasher in Fur
3. Cohnie Stacefur Ass Chaos
2. Ho Bobbis Wang Mojo
1. Dirty Chris
Wednesday, August 01, 2018
Like a Boss D.J.
I called in to The Woody Show on ALT 98.7 yesterday to talk about "first world problems."
Tuesday, July 24, 2018
Another name by any other name would be a different name
Ever wonder what your name would be if you were born this year instead of the year that you were actually born? Me neither, but this thing is still fun.
time.com/baby-name-popularity/
time.com/baby-name-popularity/
Sunday, June 24, 2018
My baseball card collection
(Plus two football cards.)
I've been going through my old baseball card collection with my son and we've been having a blast. Although my collection isn't worth the millions of dollars I hoped it would be when I grew up, I am happy to say that it is worth over $300. Well done, 11-year-old Ryan Danger Sims. Well done.
Click on the image to see the full list of my cards.
I've been going through my old baseball card collection with my son and we've been having a blast. Although my collection isn't worth the millions of dollars I hoped it would be when I grew up, I am happy to say that it is worth over $300. Well done, 11-year-old Ryan Danger Sims. Well done.
Click on the image to see the full list of my cards.
Wednesday, May 30, 2018
Friday, May 25, 2018
Wednesday, May 16, 2018
GET LOST
in a good book.
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Must Reads:
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Should Read:
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Read If You Have Spare Time:
If you're looking for something great to read, I highly recommend the Dublin Murder Squad series by Tana French. I stumbled upon the author by chance when looking for an easy beach read while on vacation. I was surprised to find an excellent author with a number of compelling stories under her belt. I ranked them in order with my favorites at the top.
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Must Reads:
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Should Read:
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Read If You Have Spare Time:
Monday, May 07, 2018
Saturday, April 28, 2018
Fun with Twitter
Amazon wrote me about some headphones I ordered, but they attached the wrong photo. I made a joke about it on Twitter and they reached out to me. In the end they seemed much more concerned about my customer experience than my physical wellbeing.
Monday, April 23, 2018
Calm Down, Roberts
I already posted about this LA Times article on Twitter and Instagram, but I'ma rant about it here too as it really rankles my cankles™.
I've been listening to rap for a long time. Maybe not ever since honeys was wearin' Sassoon, but at least since Cube messed around and got a triple double. My point is that I am familiar with the genre. I've also read a buttload of classic literature. I'm not sure how many books, since I was too busy reading to learn math. Let's just say I've read somewhere between 1 and 5,000,000,000 books.
I have read a couple of Faulkner's novels and they were amazing. I have listened to a few of Kendrick Lamar's songs and they were okay. What in the actual frick is this Rand Rob dude talking about? There are so many African-American artists he could have compared to Faulkner, but Randy Robby chose the "Halle Berry, hallelujah. Holla back, I'll do ya" guy? WTF?
EXTRA BONUS SECTION!!!
I have included two quotes below, one from Faulkner and one from Lamar. See if you can tell which one is which!
“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world . . . would do this, it would change the earth.”
"She eyeing me like a n*gga don't exist. Girl, I know you want this dick!"
I've been listening to rap for a long time. Maybe not ever since honeys was wearin' Sassoon, but at least since Cube messed around and got a triple double. My point is that I am familiar with the genre. I've also read a buttload of classic literature. I'm not sure how many books, since I was too busy reading to learn math. Let's just say I've read somewhere between 1 and 5,000,000,000 books.
I have read a couple of Faulkner's novels and they were amazing. I have listened to a few of Kendrick Lamar's songs and they were okay. What in the actual frick is this Rand Rob dude talking about? There are so many African-American artists he could have compared to Faulkner, but Randy Robby chose the "Halle Berry, hallelujah. Holla back, I'll do ya" guy? WTF?
EXTRA BONUS SECTION!!!
I have included two quotes below, one from Faulkner and one from Lamar. See if you can tell which one is which!
“Never be afraid to raise your voice for honesty and truth and compassion against injustice and lying and greed. If people all over the world . . . would do this, it would change the earth.”
"She eyeing me like a n*gga don't exist. Girl, I know you want this dick!"
Monday, April 09, 2018
Extreme back scratching
I've said it before and I've said it again, and I'll say it again . . . again: Australians are badass.
A man who was involved in a pub fight didn’t let the knife sticking out of his back get in the way.
He went to order another pint from the bar before going to hospital.
The 27-year-old got into a scrap at Beerwah Hotel on Australia’s Sunshine Coast with another man, 20.
They were kicked out of the bar where the fight continued with the 27-year-old being stabbed.
Despite the knife still being lodged in his back he returned to the bar and ordered another beer.
Once he’d finished he went to Sunshine Coast University Hospital, according to the Sunshine Coast Daily.
A Queensland police spokesman said that there had been a ‘substantial’ amount of alcohol involved and that the two men knew one another.
The victim does not want to press charges.
Man gets stabbed in pub fight then orders pint with knife stuck in his back
Metro News - April 2, 2018
A man who was involved in a pub fight didn’t let the knife sticking out of his back get in the way.
He went to order another pint from the bar before going to hospital.
The 27-year-old got into a scrap at Beerwah Hotel on Australia’s Sunshine Coast with another man, 20.
They were kicked out of the bar where the fight continued with the 27-year-old being stabbed.
Despite the knife still being lodged in his back he returned to the bar and ordered another beer.
Once he’d finished he went to Sunshine Coast University Hospital, according to the Sunshine Coast Daily.
A Queensland police spokesman said that there had been a ‘substantial’ amount of alcohol involved and that the two men knew one another.
The victim does not want to press charges.
Monday, April 02, 2018
It's that time of the year
The Ultimate Women’s Expo is back.
Aside from the problematic idea of a "women's" expo that consists primarily of cooking, makeovers and beauty treatments, this thing seems like something Stefon would describe in one of his waking nightmares.
“This expo's got everything: group tastings, monochromatic pop up shops, a middle-aged A.C. Slater. . . .”
Aside from the problematic idea of a "women's" expo that consists primarily of cooking, makeovers and beauty treatments, this thing seems like something Stefon would describe in one of his waking nightmares.
“This expo's got everything: group tastings, monochromatic pop up shops, a middle-aged A.C. Slater. . . .”
Tuesday, March 27, 2018
My pilot is good. You should read it.
It's pilot season and I set up a fancy website to promote my writing. The site is called My Pilot is Good You Should Read It, and you can check out using the link below.
MyPilotIsGoodYouShouldReadIt.com
MyPilotIsGoodYouShouldReadIt.com
Thursday, March 15, 2018
Sending it!
Last weekend my friend Shawn invited me to Mammoth Mountain to shred the gnar, and get absolutely no sleep.
That's me on the left, Shawn in the middle, and Jeremy on the right.
I got a great shot of Shawn while taking a beer break at the top of the mountain. Click on it to see it in its full glory.
Perhaps the most exciting thing on the trip was when we got to take on an actual Super-G course. I usually board freestyle, but I have to admit it was a lot of fun hauling ass down the mountain. Check out my top speed!
That's me on the left, Shawn in the middle, and Jeremy on the right.
I got a great shot of Shawn while taking a beer break at the top of the mountain. Click on it to see it in its full glory.
Perhaps the most exciting thing on the trip was when we got to take on an actual Super-G course. I usually board freestyle, but I have to admit it was a lot of fun hauling ass down the mountain. Check out my top speed!
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