Putting Songs on Blast! #1

Anyone who knows me knows that I looove to make fun of songs. I've decided to share my sarcastic comments on popular songs in a series I'm calling "Putting Songs on Blast!" Please know that my making fun of a song does not mean I do not like the song; some of these songs are great! (Though to be honest, most of the songs are trash.)


SONG: I Don't Mind
ARTIST: Usher (feat. Juicy J)
LYRIC: "Your body rock and your booty poppin’, I’m proud to call you my bitch."

I think everyone in life is looking for that special someone who's "proud to call them their bitch."

SONG: Thinking Out Loud
ARTIST: Ed Sheeran
LYRIC: "And darling I will be loving you 'til we're 70."

After that you're on your own.

SONG: Not For Long
ARTIST: B.o.B (feat. Trey Songz)
LYRIC: "I wanna show you off like a trophy car, ‘cause anything is better than nothing at all.”

And they say romance is dead.

SONG: Dark Horse
ARTIST: Katy Perry (feat. Juicy J)
LYRIC: "She ride me like a roller coaster. Turned the bedroom into a fair."

Like with agricultural exhibits and livestock auctions? Is there a 4-H club involved?!