It's bacon!

Bored at work? Try The Oracle of Bacon. Simply type the name of any actor and the site will tell tell you how many "degrees of separation" they are from Kevin Bacon.

Also, check out this commercial from my childhood. It's a classic.

Your move, Australia

If you have been following this blog for a while you know that I am a bit obsessed by how badass Australians are (click here, here, or here for reference). I am excited to report that New Zealanders have officially thrown their hat into the ring to compete for "most badass citizens."

Doctor fights shark, stitches own leg wound
United Press International - January 28th, 2014

A New Zealand doctor said he stitched up his own leg wounds after being attacked by a shark while fishing on the southern coast.

James Grant, 24, said he was spear fishing Saturday near Colac Bay when he was attacked by a creature he believes to have been a sevengill shark, the BBC reported Tuesday.

"I had just gotten into the water, killed a fish and something latched onto my leg," Grant said.

"I thought it might have been one of my diving buddies, turned around ... big shark had latched on."

Grant told stuff.co.nz he used his diving knife to fight the shark.

"I sort of just fought the shark off. The shark got a few stabs. The knife wasn't long enough though," he said.

The junior doctor said he swam back to shore and stitched up his own wounds using a first aid kit.

Grant said his friends took him for a drink at a pub before continuing on to Southland Hospital.

"I am pretty grateful to have my leg still," he said.

Your move, Australia!

A sign from God

This artist is blowin' up!

Artist Brett Kern makes ceramic sculptures that look like inflatable toys. These pieces are so fun!

Greeting Card 2.0

I saw this card in my local supermarket and had to stop and check it out. After close inspection I confirmed that it is just a regular greeting card with a plastic hologram on the front. I guess someone in the marketing department got a little too excited.

I came up with a few captions for the image and have included them below.

I couldn't afford that iPad you wanted, but. . . .

These cards seem to be flying off the shelves!
(Get it? Because of the 3D! Ha!)

Would you like to purchase our product protection warranty plan with the card today?

Great, now I'm going to have to upgrade all my stationary.

Flux capacitor not required

Artist Chino Otsuka digitally splices her adult self into old photographs from her childhood. I love this idea.

Noooooooooo

Less than one week after the microwave incident, my two-year-old struck again. This time he decided to see what happens when you drop your dad's cell phone into his cup of coffee. Turns out it is pretty similar to what happens when you explode the microwave. You get in trouble, and then you get to go out with your parents to buy new stuff!

We went out to get a new phone and I got the crappiest one I could find. To call this phone "basic" would be a complement (its features include "keypad" and "wall charger"). I would like to get a fancy iPhone eventually, but for now I'm hunkering down until my son's war on electronics comes to an end.

Most valuable autographs

You know you've got it made when you can mint money by simply scribbling on a piece of paper. Check out this list of the most valuable autographs of people alive today.

#10 Madonna – $1,640

#9 Ringo Starr – $1,980

#8 JK Rowling – $2,060

#7 Muhammad Ali – $2,470

#6 The Queen of England – $2,470

#5 Tiger Woods – $2,880

#4 Bob Dylan – $3,210

#3 Paul McCartney – $3,300

#2 Prince William – $3,300

#1 Fidel Castro – $5,770

Source: Metro UK

How to destroy your microwave in three easy steps

(As demonstrated by my two-year-old son.)

Step 1: Wait for your dad to turn his back (for one second).
Step 2: Locate a football and put it in the microwave.
Step 3: Press the “quick-start” button and wait for an incredibly loud explosion.

Congratulations, you destroyed your microwave! Now throw the smoking remains into into the nearest dumpster and go buy a new one.

Like clockwork

So far I have posted every day in 2014! Only 360 days left!

P.S. There's no way I'm going to be able to post once a day for the entire year so don't get too excited.

The treachery of images

This is a digital photo of a digital photo of a printed poster that I saw last week at the doctor's office. I didn't have my camera on me when I saw the poster so I took a photo with my phone. My cell phone is so old school that it cannot transfer images to my computer, so I had to take a photo of my cell phone with the image on the screen and then import that image to my computer from my camera.

Anyway, can you believe that Kaiser is advertising this woman's lap as the new "hot spot?!"

Niche advertising

If you happen to have been walking down a particular beach yesterday between the minutes of 5:41 p.m. and 5:42 p.m., you might have come across this creative endorsement.

For shame!

I know this is old news, but it still drives me crazy. Check out how much these celebrity hobos begged off of the general public to fund their pet projects.

James Franco
Got $327,929 on Indiegogo
Has $20 million

Zach Braff
Got $3,105,473 on Kickstarter
Has $22 million

Spike Lee
Got $1,418,910 on Kickstarter
Has $40 million

Wealth estimates found on celebritynetworth.com

Happy twenty fourteen!

Happy 2014 everybody! 2013 was a banner year for More Rants than Raves, posting in triple digits for the second time in this blog's history. Thank you to all of my loyal readers. I wish you all health, wealth, and happiness in the new year!