I can't go to VEGAS because I have a BABY!

It's been a long time since I've been to Vegas, but I'm trying to stay sharp so I'll be ready when I return. Mental Floss just published a list of gambling tips from casino expert Bill Zender. I narrowed down the list and posted my favorites below.




IDENTIFY THE CLUMSIEST DEALERS
Zender estimates there are fewer than 100 professional blackjack card counters in the world. If you happen to be one of them, you might nab a 1.5 percent advantage. So save your energy, Zender advises; instead keep an eye out for the sloppy blackjack dealer who will accidentally flash the face-down card. Zender once made a living exploiting this, keeping a notebook of 35 weak dealers from 16 different casinos. The strategy is called "card holing," and it can give you a 6 to 9 percent edge over the house.

LOOK FOR WONKY ROULETTE WHEELS
The roulette wheel is a mechanical instrument. Over time, the wheel may become unbalanced or the frets separating the numbers may suffer wear and tear. The more a wheel is used, the more worn down it gets--and the more it may privilege certain numbers.

DON'T PLAY SLOTS
The average slot machine is probably two, three times more costly to players than the table games. If you insist on cranking a handle, focus on slots that cost $5 or more and play the max bet. On penny slots, the odds are jacked up in the house's favor by 15 to 20 percent.

DON'T PLAY KENO
Your chances are terrible. At some casinos, the house has a 35 percent edge. No gambler has ever matched all 20 numbers on a 20-spot ticket. The odds of it ever happening are 1 in 3,535,316,142,212,174,336. (That's 3.5 quintillion!)

PLAY VIDEO POKER
If there's an exception to the adage that the house always wins, it's in video poker. Typically, the house has only a 0.46 percent advantage (while some versions lean in the gambler's favor). The pay table is posted right on the machine, and the payoff is high. The catch? To cash out, you need to play at an expert level. Casinos make profits on video poker because most players simply aren't skilled enough. So study up.

*BONUS TIP*
The worse your odds, the better your chances for a free drink. So hang out at a game with terrible odds, grab a free beer, and then head over to whatever game you actually plan on playing.