Stella Artois

RATING: 4/5



This is one of the most hyped beers ever. Many of my friends love to drink Stella and are super excited when it's on sale at a bar. To be honest I never understood the acclaim, until I sat down to write a review and actually paid attention to the beer's more subtle flavors.

Stella Artois tastes similar to Heineken, except with a sweet finish rather than a skunky one. It has great drinkability (to use a word that means basically nothing), and the flavor is buttery smooth.

I'm still not sure it deserves its cult following, but I have to admit that I'm starting to drink the pilsner flavored Kool-Aid.


Hope you enjoyed my month of beer reviews! Stay tuned for some non-beer related posts!

Elysian Superfuzz Blood Orange Pale

RATING: 4/5



The label is trying way too hard to be cool, but the beer itself is actually pretty rad. Subtle flavor of grapefruit and blood orange. It has the body of a light beer with a 6.4% abv, which is impressive. I felt like it was a little over-carbonated, but I can’t take off points for that since it is called “superfuzz.”

Amstel Light

RATING: 3.5/5



I’ve always looked to Amstel Light as my go-to light beer (when I can afford it). It doesn’t have much complexity in the taste, but let’s be honest—how many light beers do?

They don’t sell Amstel (regular) in the US, but when I stayed in Greece for a few months I drank it and I remember it being super good. To be fair I was 16 at the time and was able to drink it in cafes, so even if it tasted like fermented horse piss I probably would’ve still thought it was amazing.

Blue Moon Brewing Company Cinnamon Horchata Ale

RATING: 3/5



This beer smells exactly like actual cinnamon horchata. My first sip was great! I think that I just had such low expectations that I was surprised it wasn't terrible. The key is subtlety. The beer is very light and has a light flavor. It doesn't hit you over the head with horchata sweetness.

It still doesn't taste like an actual beer, but I think it does a good job for a flavored brew.

*Bonus: I found this awesome photo on the Internet, complete with ceramic deer head and crystal ball!

Evans Brewing Company Chocólatté Porter

RATING: 4/5



A nice porter. Not too heavy, which is always a concern. I didn’t taste the “chocolate explosion” that was advertised on the bottle, but there was a distinct semi-sweet chocolate flavor, followed by a coffee aftertaste. Would make a great fall seasonal beer.

Sierra Nevada Torpedo Extra IPA

RATING: 4.5/5



A very good beer with a sweet aftertaste. Not malty syrup sweet, brown sugar sweet. I also tasted hints of pine and citrus. It's similar to classic Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, but with a bolder flavor and higher alcohol content. I also like that it doesn’t have the acidic heartburn-inducing finish that plagues a lot of IPAs.

Sierra Nevada is a powerhouse when it comes to introducing new varieties of beer. Well done!

Guinness Nitro IPA

RATING: 2/5



I really wanted to like this beer. I love IPAs and Guinness Draught is my favorite beer of all time, so this should be a no-brainer, right? Not so much.

Strike 1: The taste. This doesn't taste like an IPA. It has the honey sweet flavor of a lager. Another problem is that it has super low carbonation, which works for Guinness Draught, but does not work for this IPA.

Strike 2: The numbers. At 5.8% abv, I'm pretty sure is illegal to call this thing an IPA. Also, selling it in 11.2 ounce cans instead of the traditional 12 ouncers is a real dick move.

Strike 3: The instructions. Here are the actual instructions from the beer case:



Who in the world doesn't know to pour liquid into a glass?!

That's three strikes Nitro, YOU'RE OUT!

Oh Guinness, why are you constantly trying to rebrand yourself when you already have the recipe for liquid gold? Just stick with what works!

Sierra Nevada 11.5˚ Plato

RATING: 4/5



Smooth IPA flavor with a barely bitter bite. It would make a great offering at parties, because it's light on the stomach and not too bitter for the average beer drinker.

Strand Brewing Co Harvest Ball Orange Wheat

RATING: 5/5



Fantastic. I find that wheat beers usually have a mustiness to them that distracts from more subtle flavors. This one hits the mark perfectly. I couldn't stop drinking it. Unfiltered but it didn’t taste yeasty. Detected a hint of coconut. A great summer beer.

Drake’s Brewing Company IPA

RATING: 3.5/5



You used to pour me out with no foam
Late night when you need my buzz
You used to pour me out with no foam
Late night when you need my buzz
And I know when that beer tap spring
That can only mean one thing
I know when that beer tap spring
That can only mean one thing

I detected a hint of berry flavor in this beer. The brew is a nice change up from the traditional IPA format, but nothing that blows away the competition.

Pizza Port Brewing Company Swami’s India Pale Ale

RATING: 4/5



I have to admit that I was skeptical after trying the Pick Six, but I was pleasantly surprised with their straight IPA offering. Rich flavor, but light enough to enjoy on a hot beach day.

Lost Coast Brewery Sharkinator White IPA

RATING: 3/5



Automatic points for having a robot shark on the label. This beer seems like an IPA “light,” if that makes sense. Smooth and not very bitter with a very mellow IPA flavor.

A good summertime drink, but this is another beer that says “with natural flavors” on the label. What is with that? It sounds like cheating to me.

Pizza Port Brewing Company Pick Six Pilsner

RATING: 1.5/5



This brew scalds the tongue with a peppery orange rind blast of flavor. The bouquet is one of a lemon dish soap. What I’m trying to say is that this beer tastes pretty shitty. I’m not sure what they are going for, but this doesn’t taste like a pilsner to me at all.

Pizza Port Brewing Company Kook D.I.P.A. (Double India Pale Ale)

RATING: 4/5



I guess I shouldn’t judge a beer by its cover. These tall cans are covered in super cheesy ‘80s style drawings, which I have to admit made me hesitant to buy this beer. I also question the name “pizza port” when the beer is neither a port, nor is it pizza flavored.

Nevertheless, this beer delivered (pun intended). It was almost too easy to drink for such a high high alcohol content and would pair great with, you guessed it, pizza. Not the best thing I’ve ever tasted, but a good showing from a weird looking brand.

Sierra Nevada Nooner Pilsner

RATING: 4.5/5



Smooth, easy to drink and would pair well with almost any dish. This is one of the best pilsner's I've ever had. I really enjoyed the subtle hop flavor and crisp light finish. Definitely towards the top of my Sierra Nevada picks, which is saying a lot.

Sierra Nevada Hoppy Lager

RATING: 3.5/5



This beer tastes kind of like a porter with a slight barleywine aftertaste. I'm not a big fan of barleywine. Back in the day barleywines like Sierra Nevada's Bigfoot Ale were popular because of its insanely high alcohol content and its limited availability. Nowadays you can find a similarly high abv in many IPAs (without the malty sweet flavor).

Anderson Valley Summer Solstice Ale

RATING: 2/5



This tastes kind of like if Pamplemousse La Croix was turned into a beer. And even though Pamplemousse La Croix is the best flavored soda water there is, I don't want my beer tasting like soda water.

Anderson valley has some great stuff, but they're going in the wrong direction by adding flavors to their beers.

Deschutes Pinedrops IPA

RATING: 3/5



Just another okay IPA. I feel bad because it's a good beer and some care went into making it. To be honest I think I'm having IPA fatigue. It seems like every beer company is rushing to put out ten different versions of IPAs and most of them taste pretty much the same.

This isn't a bad beer, but there's nothing that would make me choose it over any other IPA in the fridge.

Kern River Brewing Company Sequoia Red

RATING: 4/5



This is a good red ale. A bit light on carbonation, but I like that it isn't too sweet. I usually steer clear of red ales because about 4/5 are terrible. This one's in the top 20%. I tasted honey and nut. It'd be nice to drink by the pool on a hot day.

Two Hearted Ale

RATING: 4/5



This beer kind of reminds me of Mad River Brewing Company’s Jamaica Red Ale, but not quite as tasty. I think. It's been a long time since I had that beer. I know–these details are super helpful, right?

Evans Brewing Company The KrHOPin IPA

RATING: 3/5



After trying Evans Brewing Company’s Oaklore Brown Ale yesterday, I had to try their IPA. Unfortunately aside from its similarly cool label, this one doesn’t hold a candle to the last. While it’s not a bad beer, it doesn’t stand out in the surplus of IPAs currently flooding the market.

Like Oaklore this one is light on carbonation, but it just doesn’t work with this style of beer. There isn't a lot of complexity to the flavor, although I did pick up a hint of orange rind (not good) and a yeasty flavor, which is odd for an IPA. Hopefully this brewery will make some moves to step up their IPA game.

Evans Brewing Company Oaklore Brown Ale

RATING: 5/5



Rich and complex without being overbearing. This beer looks darker than tastes, and the light carbonation makes it easy to drink. Reminds me of Red Hook Nut Brown Ale but better. Caramel, coffee and chocolate flavors.

Also, it has one of the most awesome labels I've ever seen. Not only is the drawing cool, but when the label wraps around the bottle it leaves a silhouette of the state of California.

Bud Light Mixx Tail Firewalker Premium Red Hot Cinnamon Apple Cocktail

RATING: 1/5



I know this isn't technically a beer, but it's sold under the Bud Light label so I thought I'd give it a try. Did I think that this abomination would taste good? No. But I taste tested it anyway, just for you.

The smell of this monstrosity alone is enough to send any sane person running for the hills. I imagine this concoction is made by filling a homeless man's filthy sleeping bag with spiced vinegar, letting it steep, and then wringing the bag out over a vat of tepid of Bud Light.

Hints of crisp apple, sour grape, and dirty hobo ballsack.

Lagunitas Brewing Company Hop Stoopid Ale

RATING: 5/5



This beer has everything I'm looking for in an IPA. A strong hoppy flavor with a crisp slightly citrus aftertaste. Not sweet, not too tart. This stuff is so easy to drink it's dangerous.

And as if that wasn't enough, it's available in most supermarkets, it's not too expensive, and since I grew up in the local area it was produced, there's a good chance I partied in the barn pictured on the label.

Coronado Brewing Co. Stingray IPA

RATING: 4/5



I’m conflicted on this one. While I applaud the brewer’s ingenuity, I did feel a little bad drinking beer infused with “real stingray parts.”

Joking aside, this beer is much better than the other Coronado Brewing Co. IPA I reviewed. It has a malty flavor up front and is a bit sweet on the finish. It’s a nice change up from traditionally bitter IPA flavor, but I still prefer a more traditional IPA.

Diselpunk IPA

RATING: 3/5



Too sweet for an IPA. Has a grapefruit aftertaste but not fresh grapefruit, more like chemically engineered grapefruit flavor. I couldn't tell it was 6.9% alcohol, so it gets points for that. The label art looks like a 12 year old nerd boy's wet dream, so it loses points for that.

North Coast Brewing Co. Scrimshaw Pilsner

RATING: 3.5/5



I have to admit that pilsner is not my favorite style, but I found this one pretty refreshing. Sweet but not too sweet on the aftertaste. It has a well balanced flavor and impressed me overall.

I could see this beer pairing well with fried appetizers (cheese sticks, fries, Bloomin' Onion‎), grilled mushrooms and fish.

New Belgium Citradelic Tangerine IPA

RATING: 3/5



An interesting effort, but I’m not that impressed with this outing. It has a decent grassy IPA taste up front, but the finish has a hint of “drinking orange juice after you brushed your teeth” flavor.

Beer that is this expensive should be a special treat. Instead it’s just okay.

Bard's

RATING: 3.5/5



This beer has a pretty mild taste. It seems a little watered down, but I give it major points for being gluten free while managing not to taste like garbage.

I also enjoyed the discussion questions under the caps. For example, my cap asked “Would most ninjas also excel at ballroom dancing?” I'll answer that question with another question: "Would most ballroom dancers also excel at ninjaing?" Discuss amongst yourselves.

Not Your Father's Root Beer

RATING: 2/5



This stuff tastes less like root beer and more like a spicy cream soda/vanilla hybrid with a terrible aftertaste. I really don’t understand the function of these alcoholic “root beers.” If you really don't like the taste of beer, drink wine or a fruity cocktail.

In fact, if you mix 7 Up with Captain Morgan rum you get a drink that tastes just like a cream soda and has a higher alcohol content than these spiked root beer disasters. Try it out–it'll blow your mind!

Best Damn Root Beer

RATING: 1.5/5



This Frankenstein beer/root beer hybrid has an okay start with a terrible artificial sweetener finish. It definitely tastes more like root beer than beer, but it mostly just tastes bad.

The only good thing about this beer is that it made me remember when I was in high school and figured out that I could buy Henry Weinhard's beer by switching the bottles with Henry Weinhard's Root Beer packaging. I'm pretty sure that my excitement was directly inverse to the feelings of whoever ended up buying root beer disguised as beer. Sorry!