Hello room families,
(No joke this time as my daughter is in school and I feel it may be slightly inappropriate to call in during class to ask her to come up with a joke for this email.)
It's been a minute but I'm back, baby! I have been instructed by the room parent overlords to alert you to a few things. I copied and pasted the items below like a true computer wiz. I also added inane comments after each one in an attempt to "make it my own Dawg" as the late* great Randy Jackson would say. (*He's not dead, he just seems like the kind of dude who is late to stuff.)
1. Please remind classrooms about the Color Run next Wednesday and send out attached flyer!
Hey everyone! The Color Run is next Wednesday. Please see the attached flier!
2. Our next PTA meeting is this week. Just a friendly reminder that room parents are supposed to attend all PTA meetings.
Spoiler alert: I am not attending the meeting. In my defense I HAVE A JOB so everyone back off, please and thank you.
3. Our local police will be having a special presentation on Surviving Gum Violence at the Auditorium on Thursday.
Gun violence is terrible and terrifying. Gum violence, however, sounds downright intriguing. I'm assuming this was a typo in the line I copied and pasted, but you might want to go to the event and check it out just in case.
4. The Ugly Sweater Bingo fundraiser is coming up soon! Bingo cards will be available for sale before and after school beginning this Friday.
Every year I walk by the table out front and do the best to act like I don't see the good people there begging for my money, and every year I end up getting suckered into buying some of those freaking Bingo cards. This year will be no exception.
5. [redacted celebrity name's] kid now attends our school and I ran into him in the crosswalk the other day. He's out of rehab and looking great!
Okay I added this last one, but it's true and now it's only a matter of time before we become besties and I appear with him in his next feature film so be on the lookout everybody!
Sincerely,
McGregillyims
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