I am soooo tough.

Here are all the times I can remember being injured in my life, listed in chronological order for your entertainment:

- Stuck a key in an electrical socket while trying to start an imaginary car. The key melted, I was shot 10 feet down the hallway, a hole was burned into the carpet where I was sitting and my finger turned black. The wall socket still has burn marks on it after 26 years.

- Fell in the bathtub and cracked my chin open. Had to get stitches.

- Fell off of a bunk-bed onto a hardwood floor. The railing fell off and hit me in the head once I was on the ground and I had a huge knot in my forehead for a week.

- Pencil stabbed into my leg when I fell down a hill. My grandpa had to pull an inch-long piece of wood from my leg.

- Caught a metal piece of a sliding glass door between my smallest toes while running through the house (on crutches for a month).

- Fell onto a screw sticking out of the metal molding that attached our carpet to the linoleum in our kitchen. Had to get stitches in my knee.

- Crashed through a garage on a bike and hit the back wall. My bike landed on my head after I had landed on the ground. I fractured my clavicle and had to wear a sling for a month.

- Smashed through a wooden fence while riding a go-cart. I bit through my lower lip and had to get stitches.

- Split my head open on a toy metal basketball hoop while going up for a jump shot and had to get stitches in my head.

- Got stung by some type of mutant sea anemone while diving in Greece and had to have a small chunk taken out of my arm (had a bibopsy + stitches).

- Fell while mountain biking in Tahoe. I split my helmet on a rock, got a concussion, got a piece of wood lodged in my palm, pissed myself and got hauled off in an ambulance.

- Tried to jump a brick wall but ended up splitting my shin. I went to the ER the next day and they said it was too late for stitches (and now I have a reoccurring pain in my leg).

If anyone has any interesting injury stories to share, by all means submit a comment!